The pull, the push
The high, the rush
Giggling when I pick you up with ease and grace
Wiping chocolate off your face
Watching anime and gasping at "THAT SHOT"
Leaning against each other even if it's hot
Sharing music that conveys the right mood
Patiently letting you try out "new" food
Bare paws in the creek
Visits lasting a whole week
Unfettered love and affection
Thoughtful and kind retrospection
These things I miss
More than you know
I reminisce
The years our hearts glowed
All you remember is the pain
Of tangling up in yourself
Of feeling like I left you in the rain
Of putting bottled emotions on the shelf
Until the wood bowed
And splintered
Until it gave way
Until trauma reentered
If you had just told me
What was going on
I promise you
I could have been strong
“But you weren’t”
“I know and I’m sorry”
“That’s not enough”
I pour my coffee
“Nobody else makes me feel like this”
The sentiment is not positive
“I rehearsed fights for 6 years
“In my head and it’s you I fear”
“You’re the reason I get stressed out
“You’re the reason I bare teeth and shout
“You’re the reason I ran away
“You’re the reason we cannot play”
To hear it repeated
Is so tough
I choke on my tears
“Fair enough.”