Asexual erotica writer | Author of Acolyte of the Pleasure Goddess (<-- Read for free here) | Begrudging Star Wars fan | Occasional Media Criticism


Just taking the premise as left off in The Book of Boba Fett, but otherwise making some big changes. A lot would be different, in that in my dream version Din Djarin is a person who has thoughts and ideas and wants things instead of being a stupid mindless action figure.

In all honesty I didn't watch more than three episodes of that garbage, so my version is going to start in a similar place and spin wildly out in a different direction.

huge block of text below:


Episode 1

Mando and Grogu are en route to Mandalore so that Mando can do his special bath like he promised the Armorer he would in The Book of Boba Fett. While in hyperspace, he receives a message from Greef Karga: There's some new trouble on Navarro, and would he be willing to stop by and lend a hand? Initially, Din doesn't want to but Navarro is on the way to Mandalore and Karga says that other Mandalorians are involved. Relenting, he re-routes to the planet. After exchanging pleasantries, Karga tells Din that, truthfully, some other Mandalorians were snooping around, asking about him, and that he was hoping that he and they could settle their differences without causing the warriors to make even more trouble in the city. Din agrees to meet with them, but in exchange he wants a droid capable of mapping the collapsed tunnels under the surface of Mandalore -- without a droid, he'd have to just wander amid potentially hazardous routes, and it'd take much longer. Karga agrees, and goes off to find a droid while Din meets with the other Mandalorians outside the city.

They tell him that while it is honorable that he has kept to the old traditions of never removing his helmet, he has betrayed his heritage by caring for Mandalore's ancestral enemies, the Jedi. They demand that Din surrenders Grogu and the Darksaber to them, and they plan on taking both to their leader's ship, whom Din assumes is Bo-Katan, trying to get the saber for herself "if Bo-Katan wants is back, she could have asked." Din obviously doesn't let that happen, and with Grogu's force powers and his growing skill with the Darksaber, he's able to escape. He makes it back to the city, where Karga shows him his new droid -- an old, reprogrammed imperial probe droid. "There's no droid better at navigation and scouting". Din doesn't have time to argue, so he tells the droid to attach to the side of his N1 and leaves.

Waiting for him in space is a Mandalorian cruiser -- an old relic of a ship. The Mandalorian leader contacts Din via hologram. He is wearing a golden helmet unlike anything we've seen before. He says he has ventured far into the uncharted regions and discovered both this ship and the Mask of Mandalore, an ancient artifact of equal or greater significance to their culture than the Darksaber. He says that Din can either forfeit the Darksaber or die with it -- but in any case he'll have to hand Grogu over: this new Mandalore says that just as the Jedi have returned, so too have the Mandalorians revived themselves, and will once more strike against their ancestral enemy while they are weak. Din fights some starships and jumps to hyperspace, getting the hell out of there. Shaken, he plots a new route to Bo-Katan who is aboard the captured Imperial Cruiser.

Episode 2

Din and Grogu (and their probe droid) come out of hyperspace in Concord Dawn, where Bo-Katan's ship, The Duchess is undergoing retrofit and repairs, being repainted in House Kryze colors. He's brought aboard by a reluctant Bo-Katan, who tells him that this new "Mandalore" (let's call him, uhhh, Lak Zal) has been nothing but trouble since he showed up a few months ago with the ship and the Mask of Mandalore: since she returned without the Darksaber, all she has in terms of authority is her lineage, which counts for little in the eyes of the other clans. There's even a lot of pressure for her to challenge Din for the Darksaber, but she doesn't want to -- in truth, she's a little sick of thing, wanting to rule popularly like her sister did instead of simply holding the right trophy. But she doesn't want Zal to have it either.

Bo-Katan wants Din to meet someone and leaves him with an older Mandalorian -- Fenn Rau. Rau and Din talk and spar, since the former wants to see how this new possessor of the Darksaber fares (poorly).

Rau: "The Darksaber empowers its wielder with the ability to unite the great houses... or fracture them. What do you want, Din Djarin?"

Din: "I just want to protect the kid."

Rau: "Noble, but short-sighted. The best way to use the Darksaber to protect the child is to cast it as far away as possible. It will only ever invite challenge."

Din: "I'm not going to risk handing it over to Zal. He'd just use it to wipe out the remaining Jedi."

Rau: "It seems you have your purpose, then. You must use it to defeat Zal.

Din: "In that case, I need to get going. I need to bathe in the waters of Mandalore so that I can return to my covert and seek their aid."

Rau takes off his helmet: "Din, even if those waters are still there, you should ask yourself how you intend to return to your clan. Is it as an apostate, begging forgiveness? Or is it as a leader, sure of himself and in command of the Darksaber? Take off your helmet."

Din: "I can't."

Rau: "You already have."

Din takes off his helmet.

Rau attacks him in the sparring match, catching Din off guard. Din finally turns the tables and beats Rau, standing over him, looking angry.

Rau: "Now that's a face I would follow."

Episode 3

Leaving the Duchess, Din, Grogu and their chirpy probe droid head to the surface of Mandalore. This episode goes like episode 2 of the Disney+ series does, except instead of the stupidest fucking thing where Grogu leaves the area and repeats the whole episode with Bo-Katan all over again, Grogu and the probe droid just save Din and they go on their merry way. The droid leads them down into the mines, where it says it detects liquids. They get there, and the waters are totally corrupted, just acid that burns anything that falls into it. Din tells the droid to find the next closest source of water, and it says the nearest one is over a hundred kilometers of underground walking from there. The episode ends with Din coming back up to the surface of Mandalore, where he finds a flowering tree growing out of the surface rubble. Just before we cut to credits, Din takes off his helmet to look at the tree.

Episode 4

Din decides that all he can do now is return to his covert and hope they accept him -- if not, he'll return Grogu to Luke where he'll be safer. Mid-hyperspace, Grogu communicates to Din that they need to change course, and their probe droid deciphers that Grogu wants them to go to Onderon, which is nearby. They land in the dense jungles on the planet, with Grogu leading the way, evidently being called by something. They fight a scary monster after he kills it, the Darksaber leads him deeper into the jungle, guiding him in a way he doesn't understand. He goes to a cave -- the monster's lair, though its clear something way larger used to live here long ago -- and finds buried in the sands the ancient remains of a strange set of Mandalorian armor, then realizes: this cave is the final resting pace of Tarre Vizsla, the Mandalorian-Jedi who made the Darksaber. With Grogu's help, the ghost of Tarre Vizsla appears to Din. Vizsla says that Grogu's kind were known to be powerful Jedi even in his time.

Tarre: "You carry my lightsaber, Din Djarin."

Din: "I carry it to keep it from the hands of other Mandalorians who would wield it in a crusade against the remaining Jedi."

Tarre: "Good. A worthy cause. There was ever violence between the two. Mandalorians hate the Jedi's power. The Jedi fear the Mandalorian's strength. I had sought to mend the animosity between our kind by joining their order and honoring my culture, but it was doomed to fail, it seems."

Din: "But your saber, the Darksaber, was used to unite all the clans."

Tarre: "That was never my intention, Din Djarin. I never wanted to rule. I made the Darksaber to show that I was of both worlds -- the weapon of the Jedi in the style of the old Beskar blades of ancient times."

Din: "Was this your helmet?" (he picks up the fallen helmet and shakes the sand out of it. The helmet is angular and has no visor)

Tarre: "It was. Perhaps had I carried my Darksaber into this cave instead of entrusting it to my apprentice, I would have worn it longer."

Din: "But it doesn't cover your face."

Tarre: "Why should it?"

Din: "... This is the way..."

Tarre: "And what way is that?"

Din: "The old ways. The ways that kept us alive."

Tarre: "I am older than your ways, Din Djarin. Is your armor what makes you a Mandalorian?"

Din: "No. But it's a part of who I am."

Tarre: "And who are you, beneath that helmet?"

Din: "Din Djarin."

Tarre: "Show me."

Din removes his helmet. The ghost of Tarre Viszla takes it, studies it for a moment. "This is good Beskar. Plain. Practical. I'm sure it's useful in battle and in your travels. But know this: Mandalorians will never be united, not by the wielder of the Darksaber, not by the wearer of the Mask of Mandalore, as long as those who seek to lead hide behind their armor. They might not know this, but in their hearts, Mandalorians want to follow a person. Not a weapon."

Din: "But how can I lead my people as an apostate? My covert will never accept me."

Tarre: "You have two paths ahead of you, Din Djarin. You can break yourself to follow your traditions, or you can break your traditions to follow yourself. But know this: no matter which you choose, you shall always be a Mandalorian."

The ghost fades and Grogu collapses, exhausted from manifesting the spirit, and we close out the episode with Din returning to his ship. After a long moment of hesitation, he fires up the engines.

Din: "Alright, kid. What do you think?" Grogu just stays asleep. "That's what I thought."

I'll write up the second half if anyone wants me to, but tbh I'd be astonished if anyone reads this entire thing. On the off chance you have, thanks!


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