Mr. Beefgnaw's Wild Ride

"Hey Beefgnaw, how's that Listeriapocalypse paper coming?"

It's, uh

coming

(update: I goofed, actually Listeria generally ain't shit for healthy people but you still don't want it in your fucking ice cream)

I have to write a research paper about the Blue Bell listeria outbreak.

I haven't touched a single scoop of Blue Bell since that happened, and I have a feeling I'm about to be glad.