• They/Them

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should literally be tried for war crimes, resolutely shit, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless fuckfest, recidivistic shitpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.


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I don't wanna part with my collection yet but fuck me it's more likely than not that I never sit down to play magic again. the only formats that don't get unrecognizably warped every time a new set comes out are canadian highlander and premodern, who the fuck plays those? sucks.

Wizards/Hasbro is doing its best to kill the golden D&D goose, but at least you can just. play old editions. not so easy with Magic. I used to get excited when new expansions came out, now it's all noise. the card pool practically doubles in size every year, invariably (and conveniently!) introducing a bunch of broken, must-play staple cards. by the time they find their firm place in the new meta, the cycle has begun again.

I saw the writing on the wall with the stupid fucking Walking Dead secret lair, I should have bailed when I had the chance.

I still love the core gameplay of Magic. on the rare occasion I get to play against another player who hasn't really upgraded their deck since the pandemic started, it's still a fucking blast. there are not many other players like that that I can find. I feel like it was sometime between Ikoria and MH2 when the game really just went to shit.

I suppose this is what I get for buying into what is, fundementally, a sort of live service game, just in paper form. fuck.


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