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in reply to @MxSelfDestruct's post:
Not sure what counts as a lot, but swapping schools annually or biannually definitely fucked up my ability to form actual friend groups on my own. Or maybe I'm just blursed with unapproachable loner vibes.
hoo yeah that'll do itI'm getting over it, I think! For me, cohabiting with someone who regularly and explicitly tells me that I just need to reach out to old friends helps! They also tell me that, even though I haven't talked to someone in 6 months, it doesn't mean they've irrevocably dropped out of my life, which is objectively true and also very hard to actually internalize
I moved cities twice, and moved houses a few times within one of those cities. That's certainly much less than some other people go to, but at a young age any move at all is bad. Like, according to research it's trauma only slightly below death of a family member or parents divorcing.
I don't remember much of my first house. Or, like, literally anything at all from that stage of my life. There's just a barrier in my memory when I was seven and everything before that faded out because, I guess, there weren't enough physical referents in my life for those memories to be kept alive. Pretty much the only memory I have of that house itself is crying right before we moved.
Although actually I think the one that affected me the most was while I was at college, my parents moved out of the house I lived in as a teenager. For that one I felt less in control (I wasn't involved in picking a new house, whereas I was at 7), and also I wasn't there for the moving so like I didn't get to say goodbye or do any grieving, just I hear over the phone that it's happening and I don't get to go back to that place.
I'm a real big homebody these days, and I wonder how much that's related. I want to control the space I live in, I want to personalize it, and I want to occupy it. My emotions have a very complex relationship to the physical space that I'm in.