• They/Them

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should literally be tried for war crimes, resolutely shit, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless fuckfest, recidivistic shitpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.


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gwenverbsnouns
@gwenverbsnouns

I will always treasure the memory of the first time I played Pathfinder 1e. I rolled a half-orc witch, egregiously min-maxed for a ridiculous +16 bonus to intimidate at level 1.

in the very first encounter, my friend alyssa's dwarf barbarian brutally one-shot a goblin. I was next up on the initiative, with the scene well set for an intimidate check.

as the goblins were a size category smaller than my character, I got an extra +4 to intimidate, up to a truly absurd +20. I made my first roll of the game. I got a nat 20, for a total of 40.

the GM lost their shit, along with the rest of the table. the surviving goblins gtfo'd, and that ended up being impeccable foreshadowing for the utter munchkin chaos that was the rest of that campaign. that group was <3


MxSelfDestruct
@MxSelfDestruct
  • Stole a cult's flesh golem and drove it into a lake, after using it to convince them to kill themselves
  • Help some of the BBEG's henchmen flee the country after they kept getting sent on suicide missions
  • Rigged an election
  • Went to college to get more knowledge
  • Broke into the BBEG's house, killed him, and moved all our shit it
  • Stalked the BBEG's right hand man until the end of the campaign
  • Couped a city
  • Committed financial fraud
  • Convinced a suit of possessed armour to kill itself

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in reply to @gwenverbsnouns's post:

There was the time in GURPS I decided to play a character who embodied all seven deadly sins. For fun and min-maxing, I decided to also give him Gigantism. He wound up weighing over half a ton. And the DM had just bought GURPS Martial Arts, so I dropped a point into Sumo.

First session: an NPC we're talking to goes for his gun. My character bodychecks him. Knockback over 50', into a brick wall 2' behind him. The whole table laughed, then winced, then went "that can't be right!" and thumbed through the rulebook. No. It was right. I guess the designers just figured no serious campaign would have anything like my character in it.