popular media taught me that a midlife crisis is when you buy a guitar or a motorcycle to claw at your receding youth

in my actual experience, a midlife crisis is the realization that I don't want to do this any more. the days I live do not bring me closer to a life I want. my problem isn't a frustrating video game, it is that my daily life murdered my social existence and turned my body into a prison. stupid things like games feel bigger than they should because I don't have anything else going on. it isn't great!

the good news is that I can fix this. I don't exactly know how but let's find out in 2023