It is well known that restaurants present the most vexing challenges for psychic warfare in the civilian space. Waitstaff and line cooks demonstrate some of the highest levels of psychic hardening among untrained civilians, with a mean potential of P8 on the Kuhn-Earhart scale (normalized), rendering them largely impervious to conventional modes of attack.
Coupled with this, the ritualistic nature of food preparation and restaurant dining, the symbolic power of gastronomic semantics, and the fact that over 80% of interior designers are witches, renders restaurants an unappealing target for the novice psychic warrior. Fortunately, these challenges, though substantial, come with a silver lining: restaurant proprietors are some of the dumbest motherfuckers on the face of the Earth.
With this in mind, the flaw exploited in our campaign against Don't Tell Fred, a 'gastropub' located in an affluent suburb of south-west London, should be obvious to even a casual observer: the restaurant references a creature by name. A malign thought-form named 'Fred' was constructed in a disused warehouse in north London, its presence masked by the noise emanating from Emirates stadium. The thought-form was then projected towards the restaurant, invading the minds of patrons as they entered the premises.
Results were swift and devastating. A sizeable portion of patrons became repulsed by the sight of food or drink leaving shortly after they arrived. Others began complaining about the speed of service; some patrons left without paying their bill, while others simply refused to leave, insisting they needed more napkins or another glass of water. In one instance, a man ordered a steak but asked for it to be served raw, claiming he was lactose intolerant. When his request was denied, he became aggressive and threatened legal action. He later returned home to find all his possessions missing and his wife sleeping with a clown.
Officials called to the site concluded that the incident was caused by a combination of factors, including poor ventilation, low lighting, and the use of cheap cutlery. Within a matter of days, the restaurant had been forced to close due to lack of customers, and the owner had been reduced to selling his prized collection of antique corkscrews on eBay just to make ends meet. A few days later, he was found dead in a drainage pond near his home.
In conclusion, we note that, even in the most challenging environments, creative thinking and well-tested methods can yield impressive results.
