With mid-term midterms out of the way, I'm proud to announce that me, and my running-mate Dr. Edwin T. Breakfast III, will be running for Mayor of these United States in 2024.
What is our platform? why, I'm glad you asked.
Our first act will be to armor all of the buses and make them immune to traffic laws. To protect cyclists, all sharrows will now give bicycles a speed boost, such as that in Mario Kart, and there will be jumps in the bicycle lanes at all intersections, allowing you to bypass traffic. We plan to fund this by using red light cameras to capture these so-called "sick stunts" and sell them on YouTube.
Bryce/Breakfast 2024: For a better tomorrow, tomorrow.