They're really putting into perspective just how much moving to the US trained me out of... emoting. With my face. And body.
Which is a problem because ASL has a big non-hand component. Not only tone, but meaning itself is conveyed through facial expressions and body language.
And I used to be more emotive and comfortable using my face and body to communicate but that's considered off-putting here. Like childish, or uncomfortably earnest? Idk, people just didn't react well, so I gradually forced myself to stop, to be more "contained". And now it's hard for me to access that part of me.
Which, to be clear, is a crucial element of communication in ASL, so I kind of need it.