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gwenverbsnouns
@gwenverbsnouns

rambling half-vent about surreal social experiences due to changing belief systems and genders:


I was raised christian for several years (mostly; we also celebrated hanukah and sometimes passover—it was complicated), before reaching my current vaguely atheist state in my early teens. anyone who's gone from religious to secular probably knows the kinda surreal experience where a religious person is trying to sell you stuff you already thoroughly examined ages ago, while entirely failing to comprehend that you've already been where they are, and you already know all the arguments and considerations.

there are pretty strong (and understandable) biases leading them to do that; if they think they have absolute truth, they kinda have to believe that any nonbelievers just haven't thought through the arguments and evidence (or have lesser mental faculties than them). which is to say, they either charitably assume that I just haven't heard the arguments, or conclude that I'm an idiot who can't understand them.

now having also done the liberal → leftist thing, and the transing my gender thing, I get a similar phenomenon talking to liberals. they try to explain concepts I've already fully explored, except it's all compounded because misogyny means that they more often do just assume I'm naive and less capable of thinking through logical arguments. which is funny considering I was one of those obnoxious kids who'd eaten a wiki on logical fallacies in high school and early college.

it all makes talking through things with people in that place just feel futile and frustrating, so more and more I just don't bother.

which leads me to the weird meta version of this—where cis male leftists preach the importance of engaging people in good faith to slowly bring them around, and it's like, you don't think I've heard that? you don't think I spent years doing that with only rare and paltry success, until my credibility in the eyes of others utterly vanished as I assumed the social position of that chick with blue hair and pronouns?

it's funny, it's infuriating, and it's nearly 4am again.


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