i've been thinking about this a lot lately, after reading some very good posts about this topic. specifically, i've been thinking about the difference between something being shitty and it being outright Harmful. and it all comes down to who is being Actually Affected by the thought
for example, let's say i'm having a shitty thought about someone. if i don't act on it, then the thought only affects myself. if, say, i'm silently judging someone for their weight, but i'm Also fat, then that's harmful to Me Specifically due to internalized fatphobia. it's definitely Shitty either way, and i'd need to work on my internalized fatphobia, but if i don't directly act on it then i'm not harming the person i'm thinking about. so, not a Thought Crime, but just shitty
our system has very clear communication with each other most of the time, to the point that we've had to learn how to deal with overhearing Shitty Thoughts. it's hard to not get mad if someone absentmindedly has a shitty thought about you, since it can really feel like a breach of trust! but we have to think about Intent. i (turing) get in trouble for this the most due to my intrusive thoughts, and it always feels so bad to know that i've hurt someone, whether intentionally or not. but we've gotten to the point where everyone generally understands that my individual mind is fucking with me, and that it makes me think bad things about my sysmates because my ocd brain is bullying me under the guise of "tough love" about people who i deeply love and care for. it's usually my sysmates specifically because they can overhear and get upset about it, which makes for more effective bullying. of course, Sometimes the thoughts are about feelings i genuinely have, and it's more complex than just handwaving it as mental illness. then we have to (metaphorically) sit down and have a conversation about it. sometimes it's rough, but we strive to address points of conflict with each other before they get time to fester. after all, we're all sharing the same brainspace together. when there's that level of long-term commitment, you gotta make sure to actively communicate with each other about problems
i've strayed from the initial topic a bit, but what i mean to get across is that our system has Had To continually kill the metaphorical cops forming in our head in order to be able to navigate conflicts with minimum judgment and moral elitism. the cop's like a hydra, forming new heads after you've killed the last ones, but the more experienced you get at fighting it, the easier it is to defeat