Noxulous of Fyth

Well the way i go about it is easing, test something neutral or small to sort of get a feel for how people here might respond. I find the people here are very sex positive and alot of them are also horny, so i dont think anyone is going to call you a creep, i dont think you are one anyway~

Heard and seconded, I feel all of this frustration and have had similar burned experiences.

oh gosh yeah a lot of these feelings are, extremely familiar to say the least... thankfully not ones i've had to deal with for a little while but i know myself and plenty of other trans lesbians have had similar sorts of feelings and experiences before

if you would like advice, though? then i would say probably the best way to practise this sort of thing is in an environment where you and the people you're flirting with are on, roughly equal footing, if that makes sense. like a lot of the things that helped me with that feeling was just being in like, semi-public discord or tumblr circles and around friends or acquaintances where the stakes were kinda low and interactions would mostly just be between us, so if i accidentally overstep a boundary the most intense reaction i get is "hey that sucked, please don't do that again" instead of it turning very public and hostile, and if i feel like something is unequivocally overstepping a boundary but multiple people are enthusiastically asking it of me it is a lot easier to start believe that those feelings are wrong

which like. from what i have seen cohost has a decently sized number of nsfw pages and also is sorts naturally insulated against interactions being made intensely public by virtue of comments existing? so if you wanted to just like, make a pseudonymous nsfw page and start following and chatting with folks, here's probably a decent bet

i've been thinking about this since first reading it, jeron, and everything you're saying makes sense and you seem very self aware of what's going on with you. but it makes me very sad and worried that you don't even feel like you can be your affirming, desiring self with your sexual partners? the flipside, too, is that people deserve to have partners who are openly affectionate to them and aren't afraid to say what they want or what they desire. (i think framing it as what you're doing FOR your partner can loosen up some of the psychological barriers.)

i wonder about something like mantras, where you choose powerful phrases that you repeat to yourself regularly -- something that can work even when you feel silly doing it. or doing intimacy exercises with your partners, like talking frankly about what you like and desire about each other, what feels good to you or not, etc. all would be great stuff to talk with a therapist about if you have one, or to do some research. i'm not an expert, just want you to feel comfortable expressing yourself and being heard and seen by the people you care about.