You can infuse the Conjuration spell Six Thousand Pounds of Glitter into a letter and send it to the Count of Cheydinal without technically breaking the law and with minimal casualties.

Joke and fake loading screens and screenshots from The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, run by @ChrisOfTheDead.
General links and the actual Oblivion mod made from these jokes in my Carrd page:
You can infuse the Conjuration spell Six Thousand Pounds of Glitter into a letter and send it to the Count of Cheydinal without technically breaking the law and with minimal casualties.