An Expert of Blade can do that anime swordsman trick where they cut something by quickly and partially unsheathing their blades, but without having to stage it.
Joke and fake loading screens and screenshots from The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, run by @ChrisOfTheDead.
General links and the actual Oblivion mod made from these jokes in my Carrd page:
Your butt cannot get any thiccer.
Khajiit will take offense to you telling them about your cat fursona.
You can infuse the Conjuration spell Six Thousand Pounds of Glitter into a letter and send it to the Count of Cheydinal without technically breaking the law and with minimal casualties.