step 1: it's allowed for you to ask for what you need
step 2: it's good for you to ask for what you need
step 3: it's allowed for you to ask for what you want
step 4: it's good for you to ask for what you want
I always find it helpful to contextualize it like this: is there anyone in my life besides myself who makes me think "Wow, it sure is cool how this person never tells me what they want! I really admire how they suffer in silence without burdening me with the knowledge of how I could help!"
