- I am a genius
- I can differentiate any function in my head
- Liquid nitrogen is incapable of harming me
- I love women more than anyone within 3 miles of me
- I can eat cigarettes to replenish my stamina
- MatPat was right about every theory he ever made
- I am capable of performing photosynthesis whenever I wish
- I have better music taste than everyone, except the musicians I listen to
- I can lick road signs with no consequences
- I will eat icicles for breakfast in a manner similar to how I consume carrots
- penis
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