Every Sunday my Twitch subs and I watch Star Trek in my Discord. Here are my reviews and thoughts on each of the episodes as I see it. If you're curious about a nerd's views on Star Trek episodes, please read on, I go quite in depth with some of these episodes! I've watched some Star Trek before but not all of it!
TIME TO START VOYAGER. We were wondering if we should still do the every other episode thing, but Voyager ran concurrently with DS9, so I guess it makes sense. I'm pretty anxious. This show uh.... has Legendary Status. We'll see how I feel. I've NEVER watched it, I know very little about it.
Caretaker - VOY
6.5/10
We get started with an opening text crawl like we're fuckin' Star Wars, and I mean, it's about the Maquis, who they kinda wanted to make Star Wars Rebels, so it makes sense. We've got a Maquis ship with three people who surely won't be important later running from Gul Evek. They flee into a plasma storm, and it's looking good... but then they're hit by some kind of plasma wave, and boom, end of the cold open.
Cut to a penal colony in New Zealand... Apparently Earth has a PENAL COLONY in NEW ZEALAND, now, and we're introduced to Captain Janeway, talking to one Mr. Paris, a Maquis who was captured a while ago. Apparently her security officer was on that ship, and now they need to go look for it, and Paris knows that area better than some people.
I fucking hate Paris already btw. It's like they decided to go back to the original ideas they had for Riker but they fucking failed at what made Riker good. He's a suave swashbuckling rogue type but that just... is NOT likeable in Star Trek.
They go in their little Intrepid class ship, meant for short range missions, and fuel up at DS9. And we see Quark harassing a young ensign named Harry Kim. I think this means Quark is the only character, other than Q, who appears in all three series. Fun~ Harry Kim also immediately latched onto Paris for some god damn reason.
Let me talk about Janeway for a second. She has a very weird way of talking that reminds me of an old-timey radio host. She has a cute scene with what appears to be her partner, but so far she doesn't have a whole lot of personality building scenes. Seems kinda no nonsense, but a little more loose than say, Picard, but more wound than Sisko.
We're introduced to a bunch of characters who I'm very excited to hang out for the rest of the series! We've got a doctor I don't remember the name of, and a second in command I also don't remember the name of :D I don't even think we meet the chief Engineer. Everyone is curt and treats Paris like shit, prolly cause he's a Maquis, but I like to imagine it's more because you can smell the fuckboi on him, and it REEKS.
As they're exploring the plasma storm, that wave comes back and hits em, blasting everyone. Oh no, the CO is dead... Poor uh, him. Sick bay is also not responding! No way! Kim is now shoved into a position he clearly is not prepared for, and is like "uh there's... SOMETHING going on", but eventualyl he figures it out. They are 70,000 light years from where they once were. On the other side of the galaxy. Dun dun dun!
Janeway goes to deal with a warp core breach while Paris and Kim go to figure out sick bay. They activate an AI hologram who's job is to assist doctor on short term basis. Hello, new Doctor, it's good to meet you, enjoy your assignment. He's very curt, but does his best, though suddenly everyone is teleported off the ship (pissing off the Doctor), and into what looks like a southern plantation. It's got big children of the corn, or resident evil 4 energy. They try to make the Federation officers feel welcome but they snoop around too much, and are pushed off into a really creepy hallway.
This is the worst first day for Harry Kim, poor guy.
There's a horrifying scene with needles, and then they're all sent back.. Or at least, MOST of them. Kim is not sent back. And on the Maquis ship, neither is their chief engineer. Looks like they'll have to band together! The Maquis leader, Chakotay, is NOT happy to see Paris (more cause of how awful of a person he is, this time, at least), OR happy to hear that Tuvok, the Vulcan on his ship, was actually a mole. Ah well. He's gotta team up with them, or they're all fucked. They go back to find out where their missing men are, are told there's "not enough time", that they were "looking for something", then send them back.
We see the kidnapped in a medical room being treated for some kind of... illness by aliens we don't recognize. Interesting!
THERE HE IS! This is Neelix, and he is an alien looking through some junk, and he seems to know a lot about the local region! They essentially hire him to be their guide to finding their kidnapped crew, cause he knows all about it. It's easy to hire him. They just offer him water. I know a lot of people hate Neelix. So far he's VERY goofy in a fun way. I kind of love him so far. He goes fucking apeshit with the food replicator, but he suggests they go to the Ocampa, who are basically being slave driven by some aliens on the surface, the Kazon. They go to trade them water, but it quickly turns violent when the slave drivers learn "oh hey you can just make water out of thin air". They save one of their slaves, to try and find a way underground to the others. This woman, Kes, offers to help them find some way.
The Doctor tells them all to go the hell away while he's fixing up Kes, Janeway turns him off, and he gives the best expression. Love it.
Kes takes them to her planet, but they're a bit late. Harry and B'ellanna are currently sneaking out, while deadly ill. They manage to catch up to them and escape, as the Caretaker is b lasting the surface to try and seal the energy conduits its been feeding for millenia. Tuvok suggests that the Caretaker is dying. Interesting. But if he dies, how the hell are they getting home??
It's dicey, and Chakotay breaks his leg and is going to die, but Paris saves him (Chakotay is unhappy). Paris is racist against native americans. Chakotay is VERY unhappy. He should have shoved him.
As they all get on board the Voyager, things seem like they're never gonna get better, as the Kazon attack the Caretaker. Janeway beams aboard to try and get him to send them home, but he doesn't even have enough energy to stay alive. She finds out that apparently, years ago the Caretaker's people (they're from another galaxy) accidently turned the planet into a desert, and now are here to try and settle the score. There WERE Two of them, but one left a while ago to explore. It doesn't matter though, cause he set a self destruct sequence all set up so that the Kazon don't take over the station. But the Kazon crash into the array and break the self destruct sequence. The Caretaker dies.
Now, there are two options. Use the array to teleport them home, which sacrifices the Ocampa. The Kazon will take over the array and fucking kill them. Or they can blow up the Caretaker's Array, and save the Ocampa (at least for 5 years until their water runs out, don't worry about it). There's some arguments about the Prime Directive though they're all stupid. In the end, Janeway decides to sacrifice her life and the crew's to save the Ocampa. They'll just have to find a way to get back.
EZ PZ.
Also, the crew get some new... crew. Chakotay is second in command, for some reason. Paris is at the conn. Neelix invites himself on the crew as cook and guide. Kes is also still here. Janeway gives an inspiring speech, then they head for home.
Thoughts? It's an okay opening. Kinda let down by some characters not quite being there yet... if they'll ever get there. I really enjoy The Doctor, Neelix, and Kim. I kinda like Tuvok and B'Elanna, they are interesting and can go pretty great places I feel. Janeway is okay, but doesn't quite have the same oomph as the other captains, but maybe on par with season 1 Sisko. Chakotay is boring and has no real character. Same with Kes. And Paris kinda sucks. Also why does this science vessel have no... science officers? Is that supposed to be Janeway??? I dunno. They mostly treat Tuvok he's the science officer and not the security officer, I guess cause of Spock.
This starts pretty alright. I'm sure Voyager is going to get EVEN better and things will go smoothly from here on out!
Parallax - VOY
6/10
Things are ALREADY falling apart on Voyager. Torres punches out some guy who was being an asshole, and they want her court martialed. In WHAT COURT? She nearly kills this fucking guy, and now Chakotay has to deal with that, AND with the other Maquis being like "so when are we staging a mutiny? :3" which he's REALLY not into. It's going badly.
They find a distress signal from a ship stuck in an event horizon of a black hole. They COULD just leave, but that'd be fucked up, so it's time to try and save it. Chakotay calls Torres for help, and she gives a suggestion, which pisses off Janeway. There's a LOT of politics at play here, and no one on this ship really knows each other yet. I think the thing to note about this though is that like, Chakotay is annoyed that Janeway isn't looking THROUGH the violent act and seeing Torres for the competent woman she is, when she almost killed someone over a dispute. I want to like Torres. I like the idea of her. They've done a half Klingon before already, and she was AMAZING. But uhhhhhhhh.... Torres is quick to anger to a serious fault. She blames her Klingon ancestry, which can't be healthy, and isn't the cause cause that's not how genes work. When something goes wrong in this episode, she slams her hands on the engineering console like an angry monkey.
They try and leave the singularity, but then appear back at it shortly. Also the Doctor is getting like, shorter and shorter every hour. They do Photoshop Magic on him. It's very goofy. They try and figure out what's going on, and Torres solves an issue and they can communicate with the other ship. Turns out it's the Voyager, and the message it's sending to them is THEIR original hail.
Torres and Janeway nerd out at each other and have an autistic special interest connection and it's kinda cute. They're connecting, awww, now Janeway is totally gonna go against protocol to make the violent woman a chief officer! Because she ALSO likes dumb science stuff! Obviously it's more than that but it's very goofy to me.
Janeway and Torres go out in a shuttle to make a hole in the anomaly bigger. It works, and after a bit of a scary moment trying to figure out which one is the REAL Voyager, they make it and punch their way out through the hole. Torres is made chief engineer, obviously, and not Off-Brand O'Brien, Tesco O'Brien, who was the other person in consideration. Also the Doctor is an oompah loompah.
This episode is fine.
Time and Again - VOY
7.5/10
This episode starts with Paris trying to pressure Kim into dating some sisters with him. Paris is creepy and a bad friend.
They go down to a planet to explore, and find it devoid of life, though only recently. Apparently they were using what is similar to a fucking atomic bomb to power their entire civilization. "Polaric Energy", something outlawed in the Alpha Quadrant cause it ended poorly when experimented on. This ended poorly here too, because again, devoid of life. As they explore, Janeway and Paris are sent back in time before the event. A kid thinks they're demons, that's cute.
There's also a plotline with Kes and her species' psionic abilities, she saw the entire planet die and it traumatized her. The Doctor is still funny.
Janeway and Paris go to a Polaric Power Plant to try and find a way to use it to get home, cause Polaric Energy brought them here or whatever, and are caught by what appears to be a terrorist organization who are protesting the energy. Basically, they're Avalanche. They think that Polaric energy can destroy their planet. Gee, good assumption there buddy. This is a good setup tbh. Kes goes to the planet and can kinda feel them througih the timewaves or whatever, as they try and find a way to bring them back. But they're too late, and Avalanche drags them away just as Chakotay is about to rescue them.
There's more talk about the prime directive here. So basically, originally Janeway didn't wanna stop the explosion. But now she's on board, and on board with telling everyone she's from the future. Partly cause hey, it might work. And also partly cause she thinks THEY caused the explosion. This series LOVES timey wimey paradoxical stuff huh?
Janeway is pretty badass here tbh. She holds the terrorists at bay, but then they find out.... oh. It's not THEM that caused the explosion. Their friends in the future caused it, by trying to open a temporal hole, which caused the explosion. Whoops. She blasts away, which stops them from it, and boom, change history. We're back at the first scene, where Paris is trying to harass Kim into dating some twins. I didn't like this scene the first time! Kes comes up, the only one who remembered the previous timeline. And then it ends.
I liked it tbh. I was kinda the only one in the call who did. I like this kinda story.
Phage - VOY
8.5/10
This episode starts with Neelix having turned Janeway's personal dining room into a galley. I dunno WHY Janeway has her own fucking room for eating, on top of her room for sleeping, but whatever works. Neelix is cooking for everyone! He's cooking his special, bell peppers and beef! Wait wrong show. Janeway is not pleased, but he DID lead them to a rogue planetoid (class M somehow?????) that has lots of dilithium. So she lets him go down with the away team to investigate, cause he's so excited to help out. I love him.
Neelix is exploring the cave, which for some reason has READINGS of Dilithium but none at all, when suddenly a hole in the wall appears that looks like it's out of Riven, and he's attacked.
They bring him back and discover that whoever attacked him stole his lungs. WE'VE HAD SPOCK'S BRAIN, AND RIKER'S BRAIN. TIME FOR THE SEQUEL WE ALL WANTED. NEELIX'S LUNGS!!! The Doctor has to figure out a way to save Neelix, because he has an hour to live. Yay! Luckily there is a temporary solution. Make holographic lungs. He has to never move again, so, ez.
Janeway and the others go down to the surface to investigate, and blast through the rock to explore some kind of lab, filled with organs. Also I want to comment, I find it very interesting that Janeway is CONSTANTLY on away teams. I like that. She is very hands on. They chase after the aliens that did this, but they escape in a ship, and they follow them to another asteroid.
Neelix wakes up with his new hologram lungs. He's told he'll be stuck in there for the rest of his life. His first comment? That their ceiling is HIDEOUS. They need some color. And music would be nice. I love him. Though he's very jealous of Paris flirting with Kes. Kes says he's being ridiculous. No, Kes, that's absolutely how Paris would act.
Here's a gif for all your needs btw. Thanks to Raptor for the gif.
This episode handles someone in a sudden medical emergency wanting euthenasia so SO much better than that one fucking worf episode where he's hit by a bouncy barrel. Worf's Spine, I guess. So I guess this is the fourth episode in a series.
I like how excited Janeway gets when solving a problem. She's adorkable. Anyways using Totally Spies beam strategy, they find the aliens and teleport them onboard.
So this race is basically zombies. They are infected with a phage. and their organs constantly fail, so they have to harvest them from live people. They HATE that they have to do this, but after thousands of years, they feel they have no choice. Janeway is clearly torn by this, because god, what a fucked up existance. Clearly it's a moral wrong, but... she gets it. I get it too. So she lets them go. And that kindness makes them go "okay, wow. We will help you, because you're ACTUALLY kind to us."
They have advanced surgical knowledge that allows them to take one of Kes' lungs into Neelix. So now he, and she, has one lung. I'm sure that won't be an issue. The episode ends with Janeway and Neelix bonding over the food, and Kes accepting a role as the Doctor's assistant nurse. It's a sweet ending. It's nice Janeway went through so much trouble for Neelix, a guy she met recently who isn't even a member of her crew. I liked this episode a lot. Good character moments, actually GOOD moral quandries, not just "oh no prime directive". I like it. A GOOD X's Organ episode!!!
