Phorm The Vixdjinn

It's... not easy when you've spent decades shaping your body one way, because you had to, or because you didn't know your options outside of whispered words and Hollywood stereotypes. It makes it difficult to see anything but where you're starting from.

But I've been lucky to see some of my friends take steps toward transition at a later age, and these were people I'd known before as outwardly masc as heck; one person could've easily passed as a soft-spoken sea captain, the other a kind-hearted club bouncer. But the transformation, when they made the choice to go for it, has been incredible. You could immediately see where they were going, and they already looked great.

At first it felt, a little selfishly, unfair. Luck of the draw, they looked good in wigs and their outfits, etc. But then I realized a big part of it was them starting to feel comfortable in their own skin. That Gender Euphoria of being able to relax the boundaries they forced up in their minds and start to be themselves more, even if it's not a perfect reflection of your inner self or fits neatly into a box. It doesn't come immediately, to my understanding, and it's going to be difficult to get over that hurdle of actually being seen, ideally by supportive friends at the start. Meetups like furry gatherings and conventions can be a safe space for that, and a place to get guidance to make it easier. Just a place where you can ask people to call you the right comfortable pronouns in person can be a start, even if they goof it up sometimes.

As for the bigots, they scream for the very reason you're struggling with now. They want to add more emotional weight and load to your choice, to increase the inertia. If they stop you from expressing yourself outside of their narrowly-defined norms, they consider that a win in their books. They will always scream, eternally. They will always point to someone as fodder, as a target, because they need an "other" to hate. No one wants to be the target of that, but someone always will be. But the more people that defy them, by pursuing the thing they want in their hearts, the more the screaming heads are drowned out, and the sillier they look, bitter at people just trying to find personal joy in this world. You might be the example that causes someone to hesitate in joining in with that hate, the relative or old friend they had that they reflect on or bring up as contrary to the hate they're hearing. And as they share that, others may start to doubt the screamers. But even with that optimistic scenario aside, not doing what you'd like to do with your own life because of the screamers is handing them an easy win. One they do not deserve. You should be you, whatever that means to you.

I'm sorry if this is too much. I woke up, saw your post, and started writing.

Please understand that you will harm no one by transitioning :c

Transphobe fed you brain poison to make you feel that way. It's hard, but you have to rip that out of your head