PhormTheGenie

Vixen. Genie. Vixdjinn!

Hi! I'm Phorm, and I'm a Vixdjinn!

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I'm a genie girl, who really likes being a genie, and really likes everything about genies (really)! I'm a bit confused, lost, and trying to find my way, but I always enjoy interacting with folks here. (Trans🏳️‍⚧️, occasionally NSFW, Be 18+ or please be gone.)

A Genie Bottle, With A Rising Wisp of Pink Smoke In The Shape Of a Heart

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I received a surprising number of questions about this movie, so despite the initial misgivings I voiced last month, I went ahead and gave it a watch.

My brief, spoiler free opinion? It is bland, safe, unremarkable, and hollow. Script-by-committe Hallmark Holiday stuff. There's nothing overtly wrong or upsetting about the movie, but it's the kind of holiday drek that will leave your brain the moment you stop watching it. Yes, there is a genie. Yes, she is near to the central focus. Yes, Melissa McCarthy brings some energy to the roll.

But... It feels flat and processed, like a lukewarm slice of American cheese over dry toast.

Spoiler thoughts under the cut.


Movie Stuff

The main conceit of Genie (2023) is that the movie's main protagonist, Bernard Bottle*, is working too hard. As a consequence of this, his wife and daughter leave him. We open on this premise immediately, en media res, showing Bernard working late one night at the behest of his very mean boss, and missing his daughter's birthday. When he eventually gets home, his wife has had enough, and goes to her mother's house with their daughter. She wants a separation.

The remainder of the movie involves Bernard finding a genie (Flora), and teaming up to use her magic to win back his family. The intricate blow-by-blow of the plot is insignificant - This is a Christmas movie that takes place at Christmas Time, so a happy ending is all but assured. That doesn't make the movie bad or bland in and of itself, though. The characters do that instead.

Every single character is as hollow and paper-thin as the trope they are based on. Bernard is a man who's ambitions, conflicts, and desires are unknown to us. We know he works for a Scrooge stand-in. We know he loses that job. We know he's in a desperate situation because his wife and child have left him.

This is all we know about him.

Throughout the movie there's never a moment of "I remember why I fell in love with my wife" or a reflection of why his daughter is important to him. The connection between characters is implied, rather than displayed. There is merely the idea that these are people he must win back, and nothing more. Similarly, the memebers of his family show very little depth in and of themselves. The pacing of the story's intro and the immediacy of the conflict frames Julie, Bernard's wife, as an obstacle more than anything else. She exists in the movie solely for the sake of plot-driving conflict, and rebukes any attempt at resolution. We as the audience knows nothing of her beyond this, only that she is upset and cannot be convinced that Bernard is worth working this out with. Despite the allusions to there being a long-standing history of Bernard working late and missing family events, the manner in which the characters interact - and the conflict's eventual resolution - make it seem like Bernard's singular on-screen screwup is the only thing that matters to their relationship. Bernard attempts to fix the issue over the course of the movie, and Julie is having none of it.

But when time travel is used at the end of the film to ensure Bernard doesn't miss his daughter's birthday, the totality of the conflict is resolved.

Of course there are underlying explanations - Bernard immediately quits his job after time travel, which makes Julie very happy - but emotionally the movie doesn't convey why this is so important. We saw a fraction of one day of Bernard's work, and the take away wasn't "Bernard is too invested in his job and not enough in his family" - The takeaway is that Bernard's boss is a jerk. That Bernard is only working so hard against his will. This tension might be used for effect, if there were conflict there - Is Bernard working so hard because this job is the only thing that can support his family? Is this a dilemma, choosing to support his family, vs choosing to spend time with them?

No, it turns out. Bernard is both fired, and quits, in the movie. And there appears to be zero consequence for either.** So this entire conflict is toothless. As a consequence, the lack of tension there calls the overarching conflict of the film into question. Indeed, the entire finale of the film basically shows that singular decision at the start of the film was all that mattered to the story. Bernard neither grows nor evolves. He learns that it is important to spend time with his family - which he already knew. We see him feeling conflicted and guilty about being apart from his wife and daughter from the word go.

The bottom line is that the characters in the film don't seem to exist beyond the movie's singular and seemingly confusing conflict. The fact is that the characters are shallow as a puddle, lack growth, and operate as trope-delivery mechanisms.

It's not a bad movie. But it's safe, corporate, and forgettable.

But you didn't click through this post to see my analysis of the film on it's script merits alone...


Genie Stuff

The big draw of the film is Mellisa McCarthy as the genie, Flora. How does the movie stack up, genie wise?

Kinda meh.

McCarthy brings a sepcular energy to the role, with lots of interaction, leaning into her role as a genie. She's not especially turning the dial up to 11, but there's a real attitude from her of "Hey, I'm a genie! Isn't that neat??", which I find kind of heartwarming. She's throwing around wishes, and obviously has a lot of experience doing so, not to mention a lot of enthusiasm for doing so. She doesn't come out and say she enjoys being a genie, but you get the idea she likes what she does.

That being said, the film focuses more on her being a fish out of water than anything else. She's been released after a few thousand years in her vessel, and her involvement in the movie has a lot to do with "Oh gosh, she's never seen a cell phone!!! Or panties!!!" and this is where the majority of the film's humor comes from. It's fun at first! But eventually it gets a little tiresome, and detracts from most everything else.

There is a very interesting element to Flora's character as a genie. First, she was a human being who actually undergoes a geniefication. That's awesome!! We rarely ever get to see that!! And we actually get to see it on screen rather than just being a story from long ago. Second, rather than being of Persian, Arabic, or similar origin, Flora is a genie of Scandinavian orgin or similar. From what we see in the beginning of the film, she was either a hunter or some manner of warrior, but an angry sorcerer essentially turns her into a genie for.... Some reason?

We get very little information, and barely more than a sequence of her getting sucked into her vessel, but it is there and it is new. Points to the movie for taking things in this direction, and for showing us a geniefication!

Design wise, Genie (2023) falls flat in a way that most genie based media (scarce as it is) does. Flora emerges from her vessel, does her "I'm going to make you believe I'm a genie" routine in the first five minutes of screen time, and then is coerced into wearing normal clothes and basically being a human for the rest of the film. To "blend in" you see. From that point forward she doesn't really read as a genie. She can grant wishes, of course, but it's barely more than a snap of the fingers.

On a selfish design note: The effects were meager to say the least. Some decent smoke effects in the beginning of the film, but no flourish of emergence, no genie trappings, and certainly no smoke tails. Eventually all magic becomes a snap of the fingers and sparkles. As the movie goes on, the magic is less and less impressive.

Meh.

As a further design note: Flora's genie outfit is far from what would be considered typical pop-culture genie attire. It's far more Renn Faire than Bedlah, which on its face might feel a little off the mark. But, honestly I think it works really well, and it's one point of the design I rather liked.

Her vessel, though, is a bedazzled box meant to be an "antique". I'm sorry, but the thing is hideous. No elegance, no allure of magic, no genieness. Points off for that.

One of the primary problems I had, though, with the genie side of the film is as follows: Flora is just as shallow as every other character, despite McCarthy's enthusiastic and energetic performance.

You can see she's trying to do more, but never quite gets there. There are very stilted, brief moments when Flora makes it known that she wants a friend. That she's lonely. And that she does not like being in her vessel. At one point she is in police custody and threatened with prison, to which she responds, after a heavy pause and a distant stare, "Sounds Familiar". That's about all we get exploring her feelings on the matter.

So we get the sense she's not happy being a genie. Or at least, not happy being in her vessel. But she never talks about this with anyone. She clearly wants a friend, and at the end of the movie, she mentions that Bernard is the best friend she's ever had - But they've never really talked about anything beyond A) How will Bernard get back his family, and B) Oh wow, it's 2023, isn't that crazy for Flora??? Throughout the film there really isn't a connection made there between the characters. There's no discussion of what it's like being a genie, no mention of how she feels about being a genie, etc.

Which makes it all the more frustrating when the film ends with Bernard wishing Flora free.

Without so much as asking her if that's what she wants.

In the end, Bernard is allowed three additional wishes after setting Flora free (Because "There's always something you forget"). These three wishes (and arguably the first among them) wind up being the only ones that ultimately matter to the movie. This conclusion makes Flora feel superfluous to an already shallow film.

As a final note, the wishes in the movie are like... Overwhelmingly bad, and wasted??? Outside of a few teleport wishes, there's not much that Bernard wishes for that isn't something he might've just bought. Granted, he gets the goods immediately, but there's very little imagination involved in these wishes!***


Should I be putting this level of thought into this film?

Fuck no. It's a Hallmark Holiday Movie - The kind of made for TV drivel that's supposed to be on in the background while you rush through the season. It was never going to be good. And it was never going to be a deep dive on genie stuff. Or even a good display of genie performance.

But it's what we've got now. This is the movie titled "Genie".**** And sadly it always will be.

It wasn't bad. It wasn't offensive. It was just bland.

American cheese over dry toast.

Oh well. Someday, I hope we get a genie themed spectacular of some sort.

I sure wish for such, at least.


*Yes, that is his name. But I hardly have room to criticize. I've named myself "Phorm".

**I might add, given the fact that Bernard appears to live in a luxury highrise apartment with a spectacular view, in what appears to be DOWNTOWN NEW YORK, I would surmise that losing his job would be the slightest bit entirely terrifying. But it never comes up. It's brushed off. Christ, that apartment looked nicer than any home I've ever had. And bigger, too!!!

***At one point in the movie, Flora just outright produces a no-limit Genie-brand credit card, so they don't have to wish so much. This illustrates the point far plainer than I ever could.

****As an addendum - Apparently the film is an adaptation of a 1991 British Television movie entitled Bernard and The Genie. No idea how that one was received.


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in reply to @PhormTheGenie's post:

Bernard and the Genie is online! I've seen it and it's very British. It's also far more interesting than this Hallmark movie you describe. And has actual Arabic stuff in it. The more you describe this move, the more it sounds like they were afraid to have anything even remotely imaginative in it.

There's a big rule that protagonists have to be likeable, and thus our hero Bernard can't have anything actually wrong with him. Or his life. Goodness, they couldn't even front about his living arrangements, could they? I wonder how soon we're going to see "this could have been written by AI" as an insult.

You should tag this review, and then post 35 more reviews of genie movies. It's what blogging is for, after all. And thank you for sharing with us. 💙

Oh!! Thank you! I'll have to give that a watch, just out of pure curiosity. I can't imagine it'd be less engaging that this... quote movie unquote. It really did seems to take no risks and involve no imagination. Which I guess is the hallmark of the Hallmark-esque film?

The corporate sanitization of this media really has put them in a weird position where they need Bernard to screw up and make a mistake so he can learn a lesson, but they're afraid to show him doing anything even remotely unreasonable. So, you're quite right about that. And I'd argue that the "Produced by an LLM" argument probably caught up with these types of holiday films a few years ago - even if LLMs weren't at that stage yet. They seem very by the numbers.

Oh, and thank you for the reminder to tag! I always forget to. As for reviews of other genie films... Well, I don't know if I have the chops, but I really do want to watch 3,000 Years of Longing, and I just found out that apparently Miyazaki did a take on the Aladdin tale? So maybe a few more at least!

Thank you for reading <3

There's a big rule that protagonists have to be likeable, and thus our hero Bernard can't have anything actually wrong with him.

Which is IMO a very weird notion because a character very much can have flaws and be likeable. Sometimes characters are likeable despite their numerous flaws, or maybe even because of them (see basically every Sith protagonist in Star Wars ever).

That rule is mandated for US chick-flicks. It's why "clumsy" became a default, like how someone just blunders into someone else in a meet-cute. You can't hold it against someone if they're just uncoordinated, can you? It's not a personality flaw like "mean" or "cruel" or "stupid."
(My stars, that cliche of "only flaw is clumsiness" has become so ossified, that in the Twilight series, Bella almost clumsies herself to death.)

I actually saw a trailer for this movie and thought of you but also thought, "There's no way Phorm would like that." Which is kind of a sad indictment of the film XD

You're very good with this review btw. It's not like I've read a lot of movie reviews to compare it to, but you're descriptive and concise and get the important points across(both for the movie and for the genie stuff). And that part about the geniefication sounds awesome! I'm glad that even though the movie was meh it included that! That sort of thing needs to be in more media so one more representation of it is quite nice =u=

Also, just as an aside... I don't do movie reviews because I don't watch that many of them BUT I do want to make clear that if I had watched this movie I would've stayed on brand and said, "The characters are uninteresting, paper-thin and completely lacking substance. ...and that's coming from ME! Someone who is regularly paper thin (or much thinner even) and lacking in substance. The difference being the INTERESTING part! ;3

I can safely say that you got it in one guess!! I hate to be a curmudgeon, but holy heck, it was not a satisfying genie experience.

Thank you much for the kind compliment. I just think way too much about genie stuff. And yeah!! The inclusion of a geniefication is the exact high point of the film for me. I wish we got more of that kind of thing in ANY media.

And that's an absolutely great way to summarize the film :D Maybe I ought to have said "The characters and motivations of this movie are as insubstantial as me, when I turn to smoke!" I like your summary better, though.

I like how much you think of genie stuff, it's endearing ^u^ I relate it to how much I think of toony stuff. Love to see people enjoying themselves and really diving into and exploring their interests <3

Ooh! Insubstantial as smoke is really good actually! ^///^ Glad you liked my little phrasing there ^u^

...hmm, maybe I should write some sort of genie based story some day and make it ACTUALLY well informed and NOT just be toony erotica so I could post it elsewhere and convert the normies? 🤔 I DO like subversion that encourages society to grow in a different, more accepting way, and flipping even a few people's "genie switches" would definitely nudge things in that direction =u=;

Thank you for your kindness about my genie nonsense ^.^ You know, there's more than a little toon in me, if I'm being honest? It goes hand in hand with being a genie, after all. We're more fun when we're larger than life, and using magic to gleefully break the rules.

So I guess what I'm saying is, write from the heart! I mean, I think "toony erotica" sounds really fun and very joyfully good!!

The writer in me wonders if there is not a way to tie the three main characters together through the notion of obligation. The genie has an obligation she overall likes, but that is still something she hasn't fully agreed to; Bernard feels an obligation to his job that he doesn't like, and Julie feels an obligation to her kid and her husband and has to choose between the two.

Could tie it together with a few scenes where Julie is mad at Bernard for making her choose between him and their kid, and with Bernard and the genie lamenting their lot in life, with Bernard feeling like how even though he technically has the ability to quit: does he really have the ability to quit?

But I get the feeling that these movies are either written by people who've never been poor, or at test-marketed to the approval of executives that have never been poor. Sometimes it feels like good movies are less made by these systems, as escape them.

There's absolutely a lot of space to play in that a seasoned and talented writer such as yourself could expound upon! The movie just seems like it squanders the premise, and what little tension they establish.

That being said, as you point out the socioeconomic aspects of the movie are very likely glazed over purposefully. I doubt a corporate-produced movie wants to have a holiday film that interrogates working class struggle or conspicuous consumption.

(Aside: There's a point in the movie when Bernard asks Flora to change some of the electronic Billboards in Times Square - Because it's 'too commercial'. They change a total of two billboards to say "Merry Christmas" and "Call your Mother" respectively. Any impact of this scene is undercut entirely by the fact that they had spent the preceding day in the midst of a massive shopping spree, and the fact that they follow it up by using wishes to... give out big name gifts to kids? Like, they're doing this as a way to nod to the fact that they think they need to criticize the commercialization of holiday celebration, but at the core of it they still want that sweet product placement and don't forget to spend spend spend)