PhormTheGenie

Vixen. Genie. Vixdjinn!

Hi! I'm Phorm, and I'm a Vixdjinn!

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I'm a genie girl, who really likes being a genie, and really likes everything about genies (really)! I'm a bit confused, lost, and trying to find my way, but I always enjoy interacting with folks here. (Trans🏳️‍⚧️, occasionally NSFW, Be 18+ or please be gone.)

A Genie Bottle, With A Rising Wisp of Pink Smoke In The Shape Of a Heart

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Over the last few days I've been going back over my writing.

Recently I've just been really impressed by the writing I've seen others sharing. These big, wonderful stories that are filled with life and inspiration. Where their awesome characters are allowed to do awesome cool things and exist in a grand shared world with others.

And somewhere in my head, I was convincing myself that I was doing something similar. There's dozens of stories and snippets I want to tell about my characters that I think are really fantastic. They mean a lot to me. I selfishly think they're cool. I selfishly think their story is awesome.

Then I go back and read it again and... You'd be hard pressed to believe I liked these characters.

Because all they experience is misery and hurt and fear.

A lot of that is because I use my writing to work through my issues - and often when I write, I'm channeling a lot of my current sorrow, frustration, and fear into the world I'm creating. Vect & co. are supposed to be the underdogs, but still..

It just feels so hopeless and bleak. I want them to be able to shine. To stand tall. To have joy and love.

I don't regret what I've written. I want to keep pushing forward. But it just strikes me how miserable it comes off.


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in reply to @PhormTheGenie's post:

It feels rotten, but it's true. Part of what I really want with these characters, and part of the reason to write, is that they endure no matter what. They don't give up. They don't stop trying for their best life, or to defend those they love.

You bring up a very good point. Thank you, Charlotte. ❤️

I do want to say that I think you write really well. You do put a lot of raw emotion into your stories, and it comes across very vividly.

Are they currently stories of hurt and suffering? Yes, but that is also part of life. Stories of success and happiness definitely have their place -- we cannot live lives solely of suffering. But we also can't ignore that our lives do have those things, and seeing stories of people who are experiencing those things, and how they cope with them, whether well or poorly, also has its place. Seeing someone suffer but find it within them to keep going can be uplifting. Seeing someone suffer but find support from someone else can be reassuring. Even seeing someone suffer and find no solution and just curl up by themselves can be a reminder that others are experiencing the same things you are, and that there's still the possibility of finding someone to help share things with or maybe mutually find a solution with.

I think there is a lot that can be learned even through stories about suffering and hardship, so I cannot fault you for writing such stories, because there is a benefit to them all the same. If anything else, the fact that you put so much you into them helps give an insight to how you feel, and I appreciate having that window.

hugs I just hope that someday, some light can come into both your life and those of your characters.

Thank you Micha. I sincerely do appreciate those really kind words!

You do bring up a good point, and I admit that I've always had the intent of ensuring Vect in particular is a character that just never gives up, no matter how bad it is. Mostly because I need that in my life - So I totally get what you mean by "Seeing someone suffer but find it within them to keep going can be uplifting". I still feel like it needs some balance, some joy, some illustration of what makes it all worthwhile... But sometimes I forget that the rough stuff serves a purpose too.

It's my hope there will be light in both those things, eventually, too.

Thank you again.

I like your writing, and it's good that you're writing, both because it helps you work things out through your fiction, and because writing regularly keeps you in practice and helps you improve! But it's probably a bad idea to measure the value of your work against others'... I have a habit of discounting my own visual work because I'm impressed by things that other artists do. I just wish I could do everything! and consequently I often fail to appreciate my own abilities. You don't want to get into that habit. n.n;

You're right, of course - There's scarcely a good reason to compare myself to other authors in a similar space. I do tend to just focus on my own flaws and failings when I do that, mostly because I'm awestruck by how talented everyone is. It's not particularly motivating, to say the least. So I completely understand your point.

Also, I just want to note that I've always been impressed by all your art - written or visual. It's extremely well done, and extremely resonant. Also, just top tier. You have tremendous talent.

Thank you for reading what I write, for your advice, and for those kind words. I deeply appreciate it, and it means a lot to me. Honestly it does <3

The thing with a story about underdogs having to deal with sorrow and a troubled world is that without a view of "the good times", as limited as they might be in the narrative, the weight of what they're struggling through can't be fully felt. I'll admit when reading your stories I've been mentally scribbling in my preconceptions for what those good times would be, and so I wasn't feeling a lack there fully. I think your characters are compelling and interesting as is though.

Using your writing as a way to work through troubles is a healthy habit I think. It may also be helpful for you to write about those good times. Oases in a desert, perhaps. Good for fleshing out your characters more fully and also a bit of a balm of hope for your own wounds. hug

No, you're totally right. I've only broadly gestures at off-scene possibilities of the joy and elation these characters are fighting to preserve. There really needs to be something more tangible, more front-and-center, to make their plight feel motivated. It's been lacking! I should highlight those good times.

It's just a little challenging sometimes... I kind of forget/don't know what the good times are.

Still - Thank you so much for the kind words about my characters, too, Reba. And for reading at all. I very much appreciate it.