NES

NINE: It seems weird to me that you'd want to be so close to a town.

NANCY: It's usually my game plan whenever I'm in a cross-country game like this one. Especially somewhere like Nebraska. If I'm out in the middle of nowhere, I stick out, right? So someone could spot me from half a mile off. And of course, if I'm in a town, there are lots of eyes and ears on me, and unless it's a real friendly town, word gets around.

NANCY: So I like to stay in the periphery. Just outside of town. That's where they forget to look.

NINE: This is so far from my idea of football.

NANCY: Football's different things to different people. I see this kind of football, the open-world kind, as its end state. The old grid football, the hundred-yard kind, was basically just training wheels. The game was always all about the field, of course. The ground, the Earth. And it was kind of like, "here. Take this little boring flat grassy rectangle and prove you can really know it and understand it."

NANCY: And they spent hundreds of years getting to know the Hell out of it. And now, to me, football is a further exercise in getting to know and love this world, this planet. You know? The actual ground. It's so rich with history, it's just embarrassing.

NINE: I've been thinking the same thing!

Juice: being a San Diego State player means that in order to actually play the game, you have to run that five-mile stretch across the desert. if you’re a very well-conditioned athlete, you can make it in 30 minutes. 30 minutes is 1800 seconds. you get one second of OBT per year, so you need to wait around for almost 2000 years

but hey, in the meantime, enjoy the city of San Diego! oh what i meant to say is, enjoy this little ass sliver of San Diego. enjoy the one coffee shop you got! enjoy the 34 square feet in the dining area of the thai place you love! it’s a great spot! make friends with the people whose lawns you can legally wander around in! people love it when you do that! enjoy your stay, let’s touch base in 18 goddam centuries

Juice: it’s not exactly a cheat. more of a loophole

everyone knows about it, but no one imagines it’s possible to exploit right now

i’ll fill y’all in on how it works. but there are two things you need to know about this scheme, if Nick and Manny can actually pull it off

one: it will be perhaps the greatest moment in the history of college football

two: it will fuck EVERYTHING up

Manny: Plus, if they watch the scoreboard and they see that we fuckin’ went right past Mississippi State just so we could get to Northwestern, what does that let us do?

Nick: It makes ‘em think we’re Northwestern.

Manny: Yeah. It lets us fake like we’re Northwestern. So then they send a bunch of their people up north looking for us.

Ten: Ehhhhh I don’t know about this one. They’re panicking.

Nick: I mean, MAYBE. Big maybe.

No man, no. Let’s stay simple. Let’s just head south, right now.

Manny: Nick.

You know I don’t like digging up old shit. And you know I’m not trying to, you know, throw it in your face or whatever.

Juice: oh here we go

Nick: Oh, here you go.

Juice: lol

Nine: Don’t tell me they’re gonna start fighting NOW.

Manny: Nooooo. No. Listen to me. You listen. You got your way with the train. And you didn’t involve me in that decision. And now it’s my turn to make a call.

Nine: This is the greatest fumble recovery in centuries and they’re really gonna stop and fight.