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nex3
@nex3

(this is cross-posted to my new blog)

When Cohost goes, with it goes the era of my life I spent on social media. Now that I've tasted the rich fruit of what's possible, I'll never be able to go back wholeheartedly to a site where my timeline is constantly deluged with the latest atrocity, where there's no room for me to write an essay, where I can't even see and share porn. I have loved ones I've followed since before we were even friends whom I won't follow anywhere anymore. It is, inescapably, a paradigm change in how I use the internet.

And in many ways, that's fine. Social media brought me many good things, but even before Cohost I was getting deeply sick of the Twitter model. This is not an intrinsically necessary mode of human interaction, and in a lot of ways it's better not to have it at all than to have it in an unhealthy form.

But. But. There's still a pandemic, deep as world may be in denial, and even with all the mitigations and precautions available it's still an order of magnitude harder to spend time with people in person and another again to enter new spaces and make new friends.

While I've been grieving Cohost, this is something my heart keeps returning to. This was the last great space where I consistently made new human connections. And the way the world is right now, I don't know what can replace that, not just in terms of technology but in terms of life as a whole. The world is so much smaller to me than it was five years ago, and so the loss of a deeply valued space hurts all the more keenly.


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in reply to @nex3's post:

God, yeah. I kept reaching for this space in my brain, like, "maybe I need to focus more on building connections in person... seeing people I know in the area, going to events... why does that feel impossible...?" and I just. Hadn't quite gotten to the conclusion of "oh right, because whenever I look at in-person events and get-togethers I get worried about how safe it is, if people will be wearing masks, if it will be outdoors or ventilated, if there will probably be a lot of people from out of town" because it's just become background radiation to me actually going out and doing things even less than I did pre-pandemic.

Man.

I feel like I need someone to tell me that it's okay to take some small Covid risks, if it's the only way to be able to meet and connect with people in person. Otherwise I'll constantly have that thought of "I should probably just stay home" whenever I consider attending an event or join a local group activity, and if I do go to a gathering of people, I'll feel shame that I'm not doing enough to avoid spreading infections (because the only way to be 100% safe is to stay at home).

You were one of the reasons I even had a Cohost account. Hopefully we'll see you around elsewhere (and I'm pretty easy to find). Bluesky has sufficient moderation tools to curate your feed, if that helps (though there's still that 300 character limit).

Hope you continue being well.

One of my iconic adult pre-pandemic memories is that time the three of us got drinks together in Seattle--for whatever reason that one just really stuck--and I'm glad that you and Liz were on social media because I wouldn't have met y'all otherwise <3