Originally Aired: March 24th, 1973
Written by: Bob Dorough
Performed by: Bob Dorough
Shel's Review
Music: π΅π΅
Animation: πΊ πΊ πΊ πΊ
Pedagogy: π
Accuracy: π―π―π―π―π―
Yikes Factor: π¬π¬
Back to the All Bob Show. This song is really boring. I can't come up with anything to say about it, it's just so very nothing. I love the visuals in this one. It's so incredibly retro-70s in such a beautiful way. There's a very cute puppy and the funky number characters are fun. Pedagogically, it sucks ass. It spends so much time talking about multiplying by eleven, but not actually teaching us anything, and then during the brief moment where we're doing math, Bob doesn't even get through eight equations before he says "You better pick up-a on the pattern because I don't have time to tell you any more." Maybe we'd have more time to explain the pattern to the 7-year-olds watching this if you spent less time repeating the chorus!! Maybe if you say "Never gave me any trouble til after 9" a couple fewer times you'd have time to actually teach us what comes after 9 so we wouldn't have any trouble! Bob!!!
As far as I can tell this is indeed how math works. For those curious, the pattern is that 11 times 1X is 1(Y+1)Z. Easy to figure out as an adult but when I was 7 years old watching this one I had no clue what was going on and I just felt stupid because Bob told me he didn't have time to teach me. There's a lot of angels and smiling white men in this one, slightly unsettling. Giving an extra yikes point for the "Girls are good until after 9:00pm" joke June pointed out.
June's Review
Oh god, this one.Β
Music π΅π΅
I don't like this song. Remember how last time I was talking about how much I loved the gimmick of "nine is a fucked up an evil number" being portrayed by a big fucked up cat guy? Well here we have "eleven is a nice number." Not only is it not that funny, but they're specifically going "Girls are always good till after 9:00, wink wink" which sucks!! The song isn't fun, the jokes aren't funny, it just doesn't work. I don't like this one.
Animation πΊ πΊ
"So Bob, how are we going to portray that 11 is a safe and friendly number?" "Well, I think we should portray it with a dog, a guy on a tricycle, Joni Mitchell, a guy who just came out of HateChurch and the world's absolute worst most fucked up number shaped monsters that you've ever seen in my life. You know, things that make you think kind and nice."
Pedagogy π
This song spends 80% of it's time going "you don't need a multiplication table here for this one! Hell you don't even need a song! We're useless!" And then at the very end finally does some stuff about going past 10, gives you some random numbers, and then goes "there's a pattern here but good luck finding it lol I don't have time for that we gotta do the terrible chorus again!" Fuck off.
Accuracy π―π―π―π―π―
Well, I mean. It's still numbers!
Yikes Factor π¬π¬π¬
I made my point about the way this song directly associates "good" with "that white guy down your street and a smiling angel", which has... problems, but i want to really focus in on those number guys. The "double digit dougies" as Bob calls them. I do not like thinking about them. Please rewatch the video so you can understand why. Fucked up and evil.
BONUS
Congrats to Schoolhouse-Rock-Totally-Not-Joni-Mitchell for being number THREE on the most smashable schoolhouse rock characters poll! Not super surprising, except for the fact that she has less than, like, 10 seconds of screen time. Also... "badly drawn angel girl" is a bit of a gender for me.
Up Next: Jan Misali meets MF Doom; plus fan servive for our many readers who like toes.
