• she/her

Victoria Rose | Bi trans girl | Game/UX Designer | Creator of Secret Little Haven | Your local otherkin cartoon snep kitty :3



She's been a good friend for years and we like living together but she wants to move in with her partner in Colorado, which I totally understand, but I'm definitely going to miss her. But I feel like it's still going to be a really positive change for her, so in that sense, I'm happy about it. <3

But on a logistics level, this complicates things. The roommate which I really don't want to live with long term still has no backup plans and seems averse to the possibility of finding any other place to live that might be a better fit. And she still only pays about 50% of her share of rent every month since she just does art commission work and isn't interested in finding more stable work. So without my roommate which can pay her full share every month, things are going to get tricky.

Plus, the difficult roommate is very isolated and doesn't have many local friends, I don't want to just tell her to find somewhere else to live at some point in the future - it would feel like I'm just kicking her out whenever I inevitably move somewhere without her.

And then there's the condo itself. I'm starting to worry that I overpaid for my current house, since my neighbor is currently selling their identical condo for less and hasn't been able to sell it for over a month now. I don't want to be locked into this place, and I've definitely found a lot of shortcomings to it, and I see it as a temporary stepping stone to get to a better permanent place. I'm super worried that I screwed myself over. Plus, the act of prepping the place to sell worries me, since my difficult roommate keeps her room as an absolute mess at all times and says she has trauma over being asked to clean her room. That seems like a pretty big roadblock later.

I dunno, I'm going to have to either find a new roommate in the north puget sound area that's okay with a smaller room than usual, or I'll need to scrounge up money for a new down payment WAY faster than expected and hope to hell that I can actually luck out and sell this place AND find a good new place that I can move into with just one of my partners.

This has all been worrying the hell out of me, I don't know what to do.


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in reply to @QuestForTori's post:

I'm sure you already know this, but it's absolutely not normal for her to refuse to clean her room because of any kind of trauma. It's unreasonable and putting a lot of pressure on you on top of everything else.

Yeah, I always thought it sounded like a reasonable ask, but I felt bad about asking her in the past because she said it was traumatic for her. Thanks for weighing in - it’s good to know it’s not just me thinking that something is off. ;;^^

Also, one of the reasons I chose this place was because it would be easy for her to get places she needed within walking distance like the grocery store, and there’s also easy access to transit. But even still, she only ever wants me to give her rides to places since she says she gets winded too easily by walking just a few blocks to the bus stop, since she never leaves her room anyway >.>

Yeesh. I know sometimes it can be hard to do things, but it sounds to me like she wants someone to take care of her more than a roommate? There's I think a bit of compromise here, where if she needs some help with things there's, like, a negotiation of figuring out what's reasonable and what you could help with. But it doesn't sound like she approaches it that way? It sounds more like there's just an assumption that anything she doesn't want to try to do, you'll do for her. And that's not really okay!