Vivian

I'm going to be blunt here because i generally haven't had much experience in expressing my discomfort, so i just don't know if there's a better way to do this. I know it's all probably well-intentioned, and i don't want to be mean (sorry if i sound that way), but it IS grinding my gears, so i'm gonna have to be honest:

I don't much appreciate someone i hardly know wishing me good luck with something, telling me to "take care", etc. in what feels like almost every one of their comments/replies to my (interrelated) posts.

Simply put, i'm not used to drawing a lot of attention with my posts. I like my little corner where i can shout a multitude of things about the same topic out into the void, so - and this may sound dumb - getting bombarded with replies especially is making me feel like i'm being "constantly watched", in a way. It's very stressful (especially on some of the more personal posts; those are mostly for myself!), and kinda makes me feel put off from posting at all.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened either, so it really is nothing personal. I DO like conversation when there's actually something to be discussed, but receiving a ton of messages when i can't just tag them as "seen"* makes me feel (perhaps unfoundedly) pressured to respond to them... which is hard when the message in question hasn't got much substance to it, but especially so when i'm already feeling overwhelmed! 😕

*(i tend to use/read "likes" as either "seen" or "i feel (for) you/relate to this" - depending on if it's on a reply or a post - but cohost doesn't have that for replies, and i'd feel uncomfortable replying with just a simple "thanks" over and over again)

I always find it hard to ask for something for my own sake because my brain is convinced that doing so makes me "selfish" or "mean", but in summary... could you please tone it down with the replies a little? .n.

Reba "Roadkill" Rabbit @Reba-Rabbit12/29/2023, 5:38 PM

I apologize. And no it doesn't sound mean, you're fine. Thank you for telling me this though because otherwise I wouldn't have known (I can be pretty dense about social stuff), and I would much rather someone tell me they're uncomfortable so I can remedy that than just have to put up with it. I'm a worrier by nature and I've been learning to be more social recently, which tends to manifest most often as well wishes because a lot of people aren't doing particularly well, especially around this season. I will pull back and take a lesson from this, and again I thank you for actually telling me. Sorry again for making you uncomfortable.

Vivian @Raake12/29/2023, 7:59 PM

Thank you, all good ^^ i'd rather let someone know than just ignore/block them, precisely so they can learn from it :)

I totally get the urge to wish well to others though, it's just not fun to see so many people down in the dumps during what's supposed to be a festive time of the year :< i think i also used to worry a ton during my teens, which sucked even more back then because not only was my social anxiety really strong (so it was hard to bring myself to even approach people), but i also had no income either, so sending them a little something (if they weren't opposed to it) to cheer them up was out of the question too :c