i've been having these weird thoughts lately some conflicting thoughts re: community and isolation... not gonna get too into it right now (might at some point later) but in short...
i sorta keep going back and forth between being satisfied with what i have (socially) and craving for a sense of community and belonging; being happy with the "freedom" i have (for a "lack of being beholden to others"), but also, in a way, actively(?) avoiding participating in communities.
...that's probably not a very healthy way for me to be feeling/thinking about it in the first place... but i feel like that also kinda says a lot about the social experiences i had while growing up and might also (at least partly) explain why my social skills are the way they are π
