Being in a Marvel Snap hole has forced me to reevaluate my relationship with Marvel yet again. This is a process I go through every few years. "Nostalgia is making these characters relevant to me again" to "this is a bad impulse and I should read 'real books' only." Maybe this is more illustrative of my ever-shifting states of self-hatred than anything. But suffice it to say - I fall in love with comics, then out of love, then in again. Right now? I'm firmly 'in.'
And right now? She-Hulk speaks to me more than she ever has. She's been my favorite super-powered superhero for years, yes, but Shulky feels tailored to the transfeminine experience in ways I never understood as a cis man. A tall muscular lady with broad shoulders who's exuberant and full of life, but often finds herself at odds with a world that doesn't want women to take up space... If that doesn't describe any (or many) of the trans women you know, I'd be shocked.
The simultaneous struggle to fit in and be taken seriously mirrors my lived experience as a trans woman. When my femininity is accepted, men devalue my perspective and objectify me. When it's rejected, cis women mentally file me away as 'other' while treating me very different from other women. (Or they want to kill me!) 'Passing' hardly matters to me anymore because of this. Are you going to treat me like a freak, or treat me like a piece of meat? Frankly, I'd rather them leave me alone.
But people don't leave women who take up space alone. My best friend is a good deal taller than me, and frankly, one of the sweetest + most striking women I've had the joy of meeting. Yet at shows, or in bars, or at shows in bars, I've seen insecure manlets try to pick a fight with her for... nothing. For standing around. For existing. As bad as it is for me, she gets treated worse because people can clock her and be intimidated by her height.
She-Hulk, then, is the ultimate wish fulfillment. What if we could burst the balls of anyone who grabbed our ass, or toss cars at catcallers? What if insecure cis women had to shut up or get punted? Sounds lovely.
This is the promise of comic books. Dis-empowered and disenfranchised finding agency in cheap, digestible stories meant to give them the will to keep living.
So - who's your hero?
