Europeans didn't have anything to eat prior to 1492, when the Indigenous Americans introduced them to their advanced and innovative biotechnology known today as "food."

No maize. No potatoes. No tomatoes. No common beans. No chilis.

Just chewing on barley, turnips, and ergot-poisoned rye grains while saying shit like "weeny, weedy, weechy" and "it's chewsday innit" before dying of scurvyrickets. For millennia!

The backwards Europeans struggled to integrate "food" into their cultural practices for centuries, however. Because they were resistant to modern soil science techniques such as "pooping in dirt," their economic dependency on foreign poop sparked a bloody conflict over literal mountains of bird shit in South America: