pieartsy
@pieartsy

Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During This Crisis (and the Next) by Dean Spade (2021) is an amazing book for organizing but ever since I read this beautiful little section, I've repeatedly tried and failed to internalize it. I am gonna keep trying, because it seems like such a useful tool for emotional health on a community *and personal level.

Transcription under the cut.


What Else Is True?

When we find ourselves obsessing over an opinion, story, or judgment, it can often be helpful to ask, “What else is true?” For example, when conflict is emerging and we have strong feelings, we might ask:

  • What else is true about this person/group/space? Can I think of any of their positive qualities? Can I think of any way that I benefit from their actions? In addition to what they did that I dislike, are there also other experiences that show a more full picture, demonstrate good intentions, or balance any vengeful feelings toward this person?
  • Might there be things I’m unaware of that are contributing to this situation or behavior?
  • What else is true about my life that counterbalances this situation? What else is in my life? What percentage of my time is spent in this space or with this person? What else do I do and have? Does this situation feel like it occupies 80 percent of my mind space, while this group actually only takes up 5 percent of my week? If I am afraid of what this person thinks of me, can I think of other people who I know that admire, care about, and respect me?
  • Is this situation or person my responsibility? Is this something I can control? If not, can I imagine letting go, even just 5 percent or 10 percent, to gain some peace of mind?
  • Are there ways that I am particularly activated by this that might have to do with my own history and experiences? Are there ways to give myself attention or care around these wounds?
  • Are there any ways that I am stepping into a familiar role with my strong feelings about this person? In my inner reality, did I cast us into roles that relate to my family of origin or other formative groups?

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