Ryyudo

@Ryyudo

That "I Fucked Up!" guy

He/They

That Twitch dot tv dot com streamer. That once FGC commentator and memer with some bangers.

On the front cover of The Lara-Su Chronicles Beginnings by Ken Penders (top-right)

Avatar by @drdubz
Header by @whohostedthis

Twitch

twitch.tv/ryyudo

Bsky

ryyudo.bsky.social

Ryyudo @Ryyudo12/15/2023, 9:25 PM

Random Realization While Hanging Out In a Stream:

The reason I'm so "sociable" is because I grew up in a white suburbia.

I spent all my formative school years trying to fit into an acceptable mold that gets folks' guards down and, to a degree that still lasts today, welcomed them to walk over me so they have enough soft power to move past skin color. It was my way to "fight" a bunch of black stereotypes the early internet perpetuated.

And I eventually did it... at the cost of my education! 😅

I remember I used to learn really fast and many grades ahead for fun but hoofah that got stunted hard in just trying to not stick out and get picked on. I put a lot of energy (and poorly handled emotions) into that.

Took many years after high school to learn how I learn (and why I so deeply love fighting games!) This also helped me find more of a "middle-ground" in the years since, but I still struggle in some aspects that make me unhappy.

Keeping it intentionally shorter here, but hm! Much to think about! This is legitimately fascinating!

To be clear, I'm not unhappy with who I am. Quite the opposite, I really love who I am, warts and all!

#random thoughts

You must log in to comment.

in reply to @Ryyudo's post:

Wolf @Aware-Wolf12/15/2023, 10:41 PM

Dude, I grew up in a town that is 97.98% white. One of the reasons why I'm not sociable is because I couldn't find out how to fit into that mold where people let their guard down.

Something I've found over the years is when I take an interest in something, it's generally for fundamentally different reasons than everyone else. Take professional sports for instance.

I'm born and raised in CO, my family have been Bronco and Avalanche fans for as long as I can remember (or since '95 for the Avs). And truth be told, I enjoy the competitive nature of sports just like I do with fighting games. But I have no real personal attachment to the teams. If they get the W, awesome, they earned it. If they lose? It doesn't affect my day in the slightest.

My default approach to any social situation is kind of a flowchart:

Don't speak until I understand what topic is being discussed
Listen until I know the full context of the conversation
Only speak if it'll add to the conversation or help provide more context 😅

Ryyudo @Ryyudo12/16/2023, 5:09 PM

You and I have the same mindset for sports. I just wanna see a good match! Somehow this is not good enough to be a enjoyer of the sport if I'm not ready to fight at the end of the game 😆. C'est la vie.

But I have that exact same flowchart with the added aspect of 4: If I don't know, ask about it in more detail (as long as I'm not feigning interests or kinda need to because it's like a boss or something.)

Just learning bits and pieces along the way is way satisfying, and folks generally like talking a bit more because I think for a LOT of us nerdier types growing up: We've rarely been given excited permission to let those words fly free!

Wolf @Aware-Wolf12/16/2023, 5:31 PM

Exactly. My favorite NFL game to watch has always been Denver vs. Kansas City. Such an awesome rivalry, but holy shit if Denver lost, everyone else in the house was in a bad mood. I'm just like "GGs, back to video games." 😅

Oh yeah, clarifying questions are always good to have, especially in the workplace. I can't remember where I learned the phrase, but I always felt like I asked too many clarifying questions with my bosses. Someone said "Yeah, its good to be on the same page as someone, but first make sure you're both reading the same book".

Pinned Tags