There's a mess in my life.
I keep buying things, despite my better judgment because I feel so intensely that I must have something new. Not because I want the thing itself, that would be naked consumerism, but because I want the thing that purchase enables. A new keyboard so I can actually make music. A new camera so I can go out into the city and mine that experience for art. A sort of enlightened consumerism that in effect is identical to the regular kind.
I've heard this jokingly referred to as "Gear Acquisition Syndrome," but that only gets me part way. Spending hours researching the right object to fill a non-existent problem is something I'm good at, it's a finely honed skill separating Amazon garbage from well made gear, but I'm left with a pile of things shaming me every time I see them.
I'm not upset from having bought these things, but more disappointed with myself because shopping is easy while doing is hard. I can't feel too badly because the only expression capitalism wants from us is defining ourselves via our purchases (voting with our dollars), but I'm finding using things difficult.
I'm trapped in an endless January surrounded by exercise equipment that I'm definitely going to use one of these days.