i sat down tonight, kind of on the later side, and decided i wanted to try and run long sets in casual matches
i went 3-0 against a diamond 1 marisa, 4-0 against a plat 2 ken, 0-1 against a very good and patient gold 5 jp, until they all quit on me, which, fair, people play how they want but I wanted more time with that jp!!
i had some difficult and frustrating matchups, like the guile i went 2-3 with, i appreciated him play ft3 at least
but all night i felt really good, like i was able to own my mistakes and give my opponents credit for getting me, and like i could think about what i was doing and they were doing and try various things to adjust
then, finally, i hit the motherlode
a diamond 1 ryu played 20 matches with me, and would have kept going if i hadn't needed to tap out
i went 5-15 with them, i got punished for things, i figured out ways to mix up my play and get punished less, i eventually remembered my light confirms, i throw looped and shimmied and got full punish counters for the first time ever in an actual match
i also got my ass beat, a lot. i dropped combos and ate od dp reversals and failed a lot of my anti-air and air-to-air attempts and by the end i was still jumping in way too much and using di way too much and still
that was easily the best, most fun set with the absolute most learning i've played in any fighting game ever
i wasn't focused on rank, i wasn't focused on racking up wins even though i was still playing to win and playing hard, i didn't get salty when i got flubbed inputs, or a move didn't come out, or my cancellable didn't cancel. i took it in, and i tried to do better
this is what i've always wanted to be able to do in a fighting game. to have fun playing it, to have fun improving, to be able to walk away from a session thinking "i really learned some good stuff, and i really got some good practice"
i might stop playing ranked, honestly. i might have found my peace