is that on some level i wish i could go back and re-experience my life as a cis woman, but if that actually happened i wouldn't have my kid anymore which would be impossibly painful so 🙃
i like video games and their music!
- she/her
- twitch.tv/saberamesia
trans mom, wife, composer. The now-retired speedrunner who asked the axiom verge dev "why?"
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in reply to @SaberaMesia's post:
This is a huge mood. Sure, it would fix a lot of things and make my first 25 years less painful, but I also wouldn't know my spouse or any of my wonderful friends. I wouldn't have my kitties.
I always appreciate hearing other folks' thoughts and feelings on the experiences of queer time. "complicated," indeed.
Honestly I feel this way a lot. I wish I could go back and know I was nonbinary as a kid, or rather, know what nonbinary was. Because I knew, I just... Didn't know it was a thing so I couldn't put those pieces together. Wish I could've done hormone blockers and whatnot. But I'm here now, and much of my life would be so different in ways I can't fathom. 🫂 It's such a tough part of being trans, honestly. Same with trauma too tbh.
I'm glad you have things in your life worth holding onto to that degree, though. It means there's something far more beautiful than the pain of the life you didn't have. 💙 At least for me, it helps keep me from thinking of my life as having "gone wrong" as much. 😅