it's very frustrating how much time I spend thinking about Homestuck and how much of my creative and critical output is tied to Homestuck because it's impossible to talk about without sounding like a god damned fucking lunatic to outsiders.

this is especially frustrating because having conversations with maybe 80% of actual homestuck fans is like having your skull trepanned, and it's in a way that makes you sound like a lunatic if you explain it to anyone outside. like oh yeah see the sex scenes in godfeels are sectioned off as self contained stories specifically branded "unnecessary" because of how completely unhinged and puritanical people within the fandom are about the idea of someone writing a story about trans women having positive sexual experiences. so there's this protective layer of plausible deniability that admittedly isn't working all that well because people are still insane about the fact that they over-identify with some of these characters and their relationships and just the fact that godfeels is fucking with these "canonical endgame pairings" has gotten Sarah accused of being an ideological incel (?). which is all really frustrating because we've put so much thought put into how those scenes fit into the broader thematic questions of belonging and identity that the story is about and also sometimes women murder each other homoerotically but don't worry they're immortal and also that technically only happens in this fanfic of the fanfic but we're BASICALLY canonizing it at this point which is interesting because the whole climactic monologue of Polyfeels hinges on Terezi's awareness of the fact that it's an extracanonical work where she feels safe expressing emotions she wouldn't within Godfeels itself and why are you looking at me like that and backing away