expect updates on here as i play this fucking 30 dollar game and decide: is it good pinball?

who cares if it's horny, is it good pinball????

No

Actual serious review of a bad pinball ecchi game:

So, the basic premise of this game is pretty simple: "what if the bumpers in a pinball table were a girl's tiddies, and you were like, being mean to her by endlessly bouncing a ball on her tits". The problem is that the pinball in this game is marred by so many bafflingly bad decisions that just take the entire experience down 3-4 notches. Biggest among these are:

• The tables are really, really simple; even the ones with 3-4 ramps have just those 3-4 ramps and nothing else. you very quickly realize that there isn't actually that much to shoot for on any given table. the girl takes up a huge, huge portion of the table's space and she's just one single bumper
• to avoid you bouncing it off the girl in the middle all the time, the flippers have a heavy, heavy lean towards the sides of the table. This is AWFUL in practice as it means you're endlessly hitting the same 2 ramps and never able to hit the targets you actually want to.
• The camera angles are fucking terrible; they're mostly focused on the girl's horny movements when you hit her and never on the goddamn flippers. The few that DO show you the entire table are still extremely hard to read because the game colored the balls to fit the animal-theme of the game, and the brown/pink balls blend in WAY too well with the table itself
• The game gives you endless missions on the side of the screen and it's just extremely overloading information. If you thought xenotilt was too much, this one has 15 slot machine style goals screaming DO THIS DO THAT WIN A PRIZE. The end result is that any ACTUAL table goals are hidden beneath this.
• The physics are fine until they suddenly, suddenly are not. Even in the under 1 hour I played i had 2 seperate times where the ball fell out of the playing field for no reason, seemingly clipping through something? This is like, the ultimate fail point of a pinball game, you can't have a bug kill the player's ball.

The porn part is like, fine i guess, I don't really go for this type of "watch the anime girls' big 3d tiddies bounce around" game. It's just disappointing because most of these problems don't feel like they had to be here; it feels like with a bit more thought this could have been weirdly charming instead of just weird and annoying.

it has maybe THE sickest ball launch animation of any pinball game i've ever played. like a fuckin, disneyworld ride. that part alone was great.