Suddenly
a break through the armor, right in the center of me
pierced as if by an arrow
my excuses and my preconceptions of myself
all falling away
New awareness of the same old vessel
my lips
gentle and soft
my eyelashes
the way they touch my eyelid
the fingers of my paws
how long and lithe and thin
these things are feminine things
they are the same but different than they were
like seeing them for the first time again
I wonder, will it last, this consciousness, will I be
the way the community expects me to be
I wonder, will I keep
expanding my conceptual horizon
I wonder, will it hurt
to keep digging deeper, to tear away at years of my self and my structure
to abandon any left over shame and find pride
and more importantly
to stop working so hard that I can exist enough to see myself
to challenge myself and to grow
for now, I will be content to be different
but the same