Santus

The Aesthetic Ocean

@Santus

Poly pan plural ΘΔ purp in PA

  • she/they

Marginal aesthetic trans plural system. Relationship Anarchist. Therian shifter. 18+ only

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Santus
@Santus
Amoni-The-Sabertooth
@Amoni-The-Sabertooth
jeroknite
@jeroknite

Looking at the "christmas with the family" type posts and...

Legitimately, why do any of you put up with them?

For years, decades even, I've been seeing and hearing the same stories. Stories about how they didn't listen you. About how they don't respect you. About how they just pissed you off. About how they pissed each other off. About the arguments and fights. How every "celebration" leaves every participant stressed every single year. And gods, that's not even the parts that happen if you're some kind of gay.

You knew it would happen. They knew it would happen. Why do you put up with it? Why did you go? What's the point?

I pretty much left my family behind when I turned 18, and I haven't regreted it for a moment.

"But I have to put up with them!" is something I've heard a lot. Do you? Unless you're actually dependent on them, you really don't. Everyone I've known who was dependent on their family for support were the ones who wanted to get away the most.

"But I love my family!" is something I hear a lot. Do you? What families have doesn't look like love to me. Didn't feel like love. Feels like social obligation. I'm not sure I've met anyone who really loves their family.

You don't have to spend time with them. Spend time with your friends or partners instead. Spend time with literally anyone who cares about you. Leave your family behind, if you can

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in reply to @jeroknite's post:

stu
@stu

genuine answer for a legitimate question:

i love my direct family and we rarely piss each other off or get into big holiday arguments, etc etc. it's a genuine joy and pleasure to check in with my brothers and see what they're getting up to in the world. i didn't used to like spending time with my parents but i've hit an age where they don't try to parent me and look to me for opinions and advice as much as i look to them.

some of my extended family is a mess and i choose not to see them that often, mostly out of social obligation so they don't make my parents' life worse. it's a hassle but i want my parents to be happy and the personal cost is low. if they were antagonistic rather than just sort of annoying to spend time with, id hit the bricks

you absolutely get to choose your family and they're not always the people you were born near. sometimes you get lucky though and that's nice too

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