Me: Man, I love caramel popcorn. I never seem to get it when I'm at the store, though. Why do I keep forgetting it?
Me, 3-4 hours later: I'll need candles, picks, shovels, and three stout, unmarried men who'll brave the descent. A bonus of thruppence to the man that emerges with the damnable thing caught back there and a penny in the parish collection box for those that don't return.