Scampir

So much about Elden Ring rules but I really want to give a shoutout to my dude Mohg. The future tense of his dynasty is what kills me—it's going to happen guys! His twin brother has this tragic destiny of protecting the sanctity of a culture that rejected him utterly and yeah that's beautiful but Mohg was like FUCK that I am going to start my OWN dynasty, I'm going to pronounce it WEIRD, everyone's going to have SICK ROBES, we're going to worship BLOOD, our mother is going to be FORMLESS and it's going to be so cool guys just wait! Don't come in yet though it's a real mess in here lol but if you get in on the ground floor you could be a FOUNDING MEMBER! Coming soon to a dynasty near you! Just give me some time to get it ready, you can even get an exclusive seal RIGHT NOW that guarantees you a personal audience with ME, but not yet! Don't come in here and kill me and touch the withered arm of my malewife we haven't finished picking out the curtains yet.