Sheri

its worth fighting for 🌷

Writer of word both truth and tale. Video producer, editor, artist, still human. Hire me?

Check #writeup for The Good Posts.
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Slowly making a visual novel called We Will Not See Heaven, demo is free. Sometimes I stream, or post adult things. Boys' love novel enthusiast. Take care, yeah?

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TECH CAN ONLY BE AS KIND TO US AS WE ARE TO ONE ANOTHER.


πŸ–₯️ blog
sherishaw.net/blog

i've had a lot of bangs on the head in my life. got knocked down several flights of stairs a couple times as a kid by bullies, hit my head pretty fuckin hard on an ice slick while delivering library books to an elderly woman

lately though, it's been a little. uh. more common. several months back, in the same day, i walked headfirst into a sign post and smacked the same spot on my head hard while trying to clean under a desk with a vacuum

since then, i've got a couple more bumps in memory. or, around memory, i guess

i smoke weed for pain, which does make my memory hazy. but even stone cold sober these days i have a lot of trouble remembering things.

if someone tells me something important, i'll remember that they told me something important, not what the actual words were.

i'll remember that i have something to do today, but not what it is. for a long time i've put everything in my calendar on my phone but now i need reminders for like. when to eat. because i legit don't remember anymore.

there's a pretty acute pain in the back of my head constantly, had it since i was young, always chalked it up to sensory migraines. they're getting worse lately, but maybe that's from overwork. who knows?

i certainly don't.

i don't fucking know anything anymore. i don't remember who i talked to today, i don't remember if i showered or when anything happened.

i did wake up with a bunch of dried blood on my neck, though. i think it was all mine, from my piercing wound that i need to see a doctor about. i'll be sure to get around to it if i remember to

if someone tries to get specifics out of me i'll blank, unless they can jog my memory of the thing. like just enough keywords. i didn't remember what i did today until austin told me that "we went over to our friends' place and-" then everything came back to me. we played mice and mystics! it was a delight!

and then i'll probably forget in a few minutes.

but its okay. my mind's eye has gotten smaller but no less than its prior importance. maybe i have trouble remembering basic tasks. but i have cute sticky notes that i write reminders on now and post on my monitor!!

i'll forget that i spent time with friends. but they won't forget the good time we had, unless they have the same problem i guess. but i made my friends happy! that's all that really matters, isn't it?

winning and losing is all made up, it's all about the time you spend with the people you love. brennan lee mulligan said that while wearing a bunch of old man makeup in a blooper reel on dropout for those CEO videos

i can remember THAT but i can't remember today's date. i can't remember how to read sometimes. if someone says "sheri, are you there? what were you saying?" now i just assume i trailed off and forgot my point.

but im happy. my friends are happy. my sticky notes are adorable.

the important stuff is still in my brain, even if it takes a little coaxing to get it out. just put away on a shelf until i need it again. sometimes i just need help searching. and my friends will always be there to help.

i still try to learn and study and read and expand my understanding of the world. but it's paling out water on a sinking ship for the love of using the bucket.

but its a nice bucket! i put a bunch of stickers on it, do you want to see?

oh, i already showed you?

well that's ok. im always happy to ask again.


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