For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with 'feeling different'. Not as much now that I've put a name to my sexuality and to my gender identity, but it's still there. It was especially hard to deal with because my family would constantly point out how differently I did things. It never made me feel 'special'. Instead, at first I would just brush it off. That's so easy to tell people, just "brush it off."
But the more someone tells you something, the more it sinks into your subconscious until it becomes an insidious intrusive thought that resurfaces every so often. My family would point out constantly that I walk on my tip toes for instance. Children tend to get over that over time but for some reason... I never did.
If it wasn't pointing out that I walk on my tip toes, it was pointing out that I do chores differently than other people, like sweeping differently. Or washing the dishes differently. Or even eating soup and being picky about "how much" of everything that goes in my bowl These kinds of things, on their own, don't seem like they're all that bad. But when said constantly day in and day out, these things add up.