Ever since an update for the Steam Deck back in November, it has just refused to output video to my monitor. I've tried a bunch of different docks and cables, but it's only ever worked with a single one that forced a low-resolution, low-refresh-rate EDID, and only when there's no power being supplied at the same time. Since Valve gave up on fixing the issue whenever I contacted. them, I decided to try and update my monitor to see if that might fix it. What followed was the weirdest update process I've ever seen.
So I have an Alienware ultrawide QD-OLED monitor, a pretty great gaming monitor by all accounts, I've been happy using it with my daily driver Mac. But Dell neglected to build the device in a way that lets you just upload new firmware through the USB port, no, that would be too easy. In order to update, you SPECIFICALLY need a Windows 10/11 desktop PC with a dedicated Nvidia GPU connected via full-size DisplayPort 1.4 directly to the monitor. If you've got an AMD GPU? Can't update. Got a laptop? Tough shit. Use HDMI instead? Not happening. Running Windows in a VM and passing the GPU through to it? Get lost, nerd. Use MacOS or Linux? You're joking.
Since I recently built a gaming PC out of spare parts that happened to include an Nvidia GPU, I realized I could finally update this screen and maybe get it working with my Deck again. So I hauled it into my bedroom, hooked it all up, and ran the update utility. I figured it would require me to hook up the monitor through something alongside DisplayPort - I mean, how would they send the update data otherwise? I was not prepared.
When the update started, the screen started flashing wildly with different garbled bits every frame, continuing for several minutes on end. THE DAMN THING WAS SENDING THE UPDATE AS A VIDEO FEED. I shit you not, the monitor's firmware expects to receive updates as a series of consecutive frames passed through DisplayPort and then listens to receive the whole update through whatever gets displayed on the screen. The updater even urges you not to touch the computer during this time or let any device in the chain go to sleep because even a tiny inconsistency could potentially brick the update.
Thankfully, the update concluded successfully, but I was still so flabbergasted that something so janky was even CONSIDERED by a major company for a high-end piece of technology in the year of our Luigi 2024. Whoever it was at Dell who decided on this ridiculous idea, you're a madman and I kind of admire your foolhardiness, but please for god's sake just use the USB port next time.
Oh and the Steam Deck still doesn't work. Thanks, Valve! 🙃
