• He/Him

say evil words
mean nice things

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in reply to @SilverIll's post:

I think about stuff like this as a guy who used to suck quite a bit, like I genuinely wasn't great, but a lot of ppl were patient with me and taught me how to not be such a schmuck all the time. I dunno if it's 1:1 with what you're sayin but based on that my advice is to just live your truth and make it everyone else's problem.

I'm just in a bind where its like
I try to talk about my opinions and passions unfiltered and several several times it makes people annoyed or uncomfy, so i figure "hey ok, i understand, self-obsession can be annoying to me too, ill try to listen more often instead"
So I listen to what people say and I often disagree strongly, but when i'm arguing all the time people dislike it also, so i figure "yeah yeah, i'm just being really combative and i hate when people do that" so i try to 'yes and' as much as possible
and now at a certain point im just not talking because what people are saying is so unrelatable to me i don't know how to bridge it. I can try to "get new friends" but that involves even more hiding myself and trying to fit in socially before gaining trust and getting more comfortable with people.
"live your truth" assumes that your truth is inherently advantageous for what you want but people can be self destructive

That is a bit of a tricky one, for sure. Figuring out how to push back in a way that's less directly combative might help, although maybe what they're saying is the same kind of stuff that would also prompt me to shift into combat stance, so I feel like that's a weak suggestion. Maybe with some new people try various degrees of hittin em with the truth right from the getgo and see if they can handle it? If they burn out fast, there's not as much lost as if you had to spend a bunch of time holding back beforehand.

I'm very much more worried about burning too many bridges than saving time. I just need to flex a bunch of very weak muscles i think. Diplomacy and compromise are more important in life sometimes than idealistic slogans can sell. Some people really need to hear they can be themselves if they want to, i'm just one that's a little tired of it is all.