Do I really want to do this?
I thought to myself as I gently hefted the small syringe in my hand, its weight virtually non-existent but yet, what it represented, and what it meant? The weight of those alone made it feel as if the vial in my hand was straining every muscle in my arm just to keep it at chest level, let alone the immense weight I felt pulling it up to eye level.
A heavy sigh escaped my mouth, my lips feeling a slight bit chapped as my tongue rubbed over them quickly. I could feel my heart practically pounding away at the inside of my chest like a drummer in the middle of a solo.
This is everything you've ever wanted ever since you found out who you are. So why am I hesitating?
The nervousness threatened to overwhelm I thought, as my palms began to sweat I gently wiped one hand on my shirt, then took the syringe in it, and wiped the other hand.
And before I knew it, the cap of the needle was off, and the tip, mere centimeters away from my thigh. My hand gripping the clean, virtually pristine skin tight, not a single follicle to be found on the entire thigh, that is, until you get past my knee. The sight of my own naked thigh brought with it a sense of wrongness, the same kind of wrongness my whole body brought me.
Don't get me wrong, starting on the pills years ago to fix the first bout of dysphoria was one of the best decisions I've ever made! But this?
How do you describe the feeling of wrongness you get by not being what you feel you and really everyone else already should be? How do you tell those you care about and love, that you don't think they should continue to be as they are?
That they should shed their old skin and join you?
They too, can live in a whole new world of senses and experience the world in a similar fashion to those we share it with?
The needle plunged into my thigh before I even realized what had happened, like my body was already operating of its own volition. Though, in a sense, I suppose it was.
My thumb pressed down on the plunger, and with it, I felt the cool liquid inside begin to course through my leg, then up my belly, to my chest, then through my heart, and soon enough, It was like I could feel that coolness in my own head too.
I let out a sigh of relief, a shiver sent up my back as the syringe was emptied, then gently and carefully removed. The cap put back on, and the vial disposed of properly.
It was done I thought, but no...
How foolish I was then.
The coolness began, slowly, almost deliberately, to turn warmer. Like someone turning the nob on the shower ever closer to warmer.
It began in my toes, no longer did they feel cold, then up to my legs, like a warm blanket was slowly being pulled over my body, then to my belly, onward and onward it crawled, till it reached my heart, the kind of warm feeling one would get from just having drank a cup of hot coffee or cocoa on a cold winter day.
But once it was at my head? That's when the warmth, turned to a blazing inferno. As if someone had dropped a lit match on my kerosene covered form, my whole body began to feel as if it was on fire.
And I cried out, but nothing came from within me, except a pained whimpering that sounded far from human.
When I awoke next, the room was still lit but now it was beginning to brighten outside, and I could feel the telltale hardness of the floor beneath my form. Thankfully the carpet was soft enough to more than likely have cushioned my fall.
I.. fell? I thought, as I tried to crane my neck, only to find my vision was blurry, and the blurs themselves more vibrant than before?
M-my Glasses... I realized, as I tried slowly to run my hand around the carpet for them. Soon I felt my appendage brush against the small acrylic frames and clumsily pulled them towards me. As I slipped them on, I realized why my hands had felt so hard to maneuver and felt, larger than usual.
Before me, were two, huge grey furred PAWS. Paws of which, had thick black padding, and shimmering midnight claws.
I gasped, as I stared at the paws... MY paws.
I turned them over a few times, flexing my digits, running my claws over my fur, then over my new tough yet sensitive paw pads. I slowly propped myself up on my elbow, which thankfully still bent in a familiar way, and as I turned my head to get a better view of my body I stopped.
The first thing I could see was the same gray fur covering my entire body, sleek, yet soft looking. Practically reflecting back the light coming in from the window yet not, at the same time.
Next I noticed my legs, they too had shifted to a more, feral positioning. And as on my hands, they too ended in large paws that were tipped with claws. And as the rush of emotions and feeling took hold and swelled in my chest, I began to feel an involuntary WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP of something thick, furred, and HEAVY tugging at my lower spine.
I craned my neck further, and my eyes went wide as before me I saw it.
That beautiful appendage covered in thick gray fur and beneath it, dark gray scutes running along the underside, all the way from the tip of the tail to the underside of my neck. It thumped again and again loudly against the carpet, practically having a mind of its own as I smiled wide.
M-my... my own tail! I exclaimed in my mind, as it wagged and thumped against the floor further.
I watched it wag and tried to will it to move, of which it did so with surprising ease, as if I had always had it.
After being thoroughly satisfied with my tail and its functionality, I pulled a paw up to my face.
I felt my pads rub against my cheeks, which much like the rest of my body, were covered in fur and fluff, of which felt soft, and smooth to the touch. My paws moved further out to the front of my face, then to my muzzle. I opened my maw wide to feel my teeth, and to my surprise, they felt sharp yet still not enough to cut ones self on.
I closed my maw and giggled, then turned to face the mirror in my room and I stopped once again.
My face still held that sense of femininity to it, despite my outward appearance being more akin to a furred drake than a traditional woman. My eyes, once deep brown, now had turned a vibrant gold color. My sclera too having become black to further show off how vibrantly colored my eyes were. They didn't quite look human, but just enough to tell, that I once was human.
I... felt fine about this. There wasn't that same feeling of disgust that I had felt what I could only presume was hours ago now. Instead, it was replaced with... a newfound pride, confidence, and it felt invigorating.
I slowly and steadily pushed myself up, my clothes I found, to be in tatters on the ground as I clearly had grown past their limits.
I padded over to the mirror and gave myself another look over before finally feeling satisfied with my newfound creature hood.
I turned my head and looked at the sunrise, feeling truly comfortable in my own fur, and ready to take on whatever was to come next.
(I wrote this over the course of a couple of hours after a spontaneous whim overtook me. So, yeah, enjoy some therian feels I suppose! ^-^;)
