Oh grub, I am on the verge of going into independent journalism, it feels like. Situations are emerging and converging. My work would be small but personally signifigant.
I could just as easily ignore the impulse, but something in front of me has been bugging me for a long time. I have the mind for it and the power to document my findings. Presently I lack the discipline, but I'm confident that can be learned.
I have a few unique information resources around this one particular piece and I would rather not see it wasted, but I feel it is volatile and could maybe get way bigger than me very fast if I put it out there in such a way. Mostly externally processing on this at present, but... I am looking at it... there is something here... is it small and benign, or is it an indication of something bigger?
Today I felt closer than I ever have before and I feel like some sort of crackpot. I feel like I'm just spinning stories from vapors at points without any legitimacy, but every inch closer, every new closed door around the space I can't see into has me looking longer and harder at what-could-be. I am transfixed.
