sometimes it makes me sad thinking about how i never got and probably will never again get an opportunity to play any of the old silent hills or resident evils on the original hardware on a shitty old crt screen the way it was.

as far as i can tell ill only ever be able to live vicariously through the age via emulation on hardware way too advanced for what was intended which kinda ruins the effect.
ill never really be fully isolated with just the game and the dark and the quiet again.
it'll never feel as cherishable as a file that gets lost in my hard drive.

but at the same time? i dont know that its really worth it to go back to, a lot of that comes from the culture at the time, like that was the best they had and it was amazing, but now i might be too spoiled technologically to ever be able to appreciate that very specific kind of atmosphere ever again.

i guess i kinda wish there was a way to emulate that feeling.

i was going to stop there but i kept thinking, its not like i havent experienced that again in recent times actually..

i actually ended up playing delta rune by myself with no distractions, i even got one of those moments where you put the game down to go to the kitchen and the music is still going and its just this eerie feeling of isolation and purgatory rolled into one but its strangely soothing?

like you become so immersed in the game that everything you do outside of it before you're done kinda feels alien. like you're not actually going to get water you're just thinking about doing that while still processing a fantasy world and all the thoughts you have about said world.

i guess maybe its just harder now to disconnect from the entire world to just really bury yourself in a game for hours and hours on end, like you're never very far from reality.