SomeEgrets

Birdout: Paradise

@SomeEgrets

disaster bird

i can't go to hell - i'm all out of vacation days. i watch space rocks and yell at computers for my day job. probably too old for any of this

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i think i might be burned out on internet social. it's hard to keep doing it. it's hard to even maintain the amount of attention i'm already giving it

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i am the cause of most of my own problems

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furthermore, capitalism must be destroyed

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birdsona: ?????

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🌎 Ontario, Canada

log inask
webbed site
egrets.ca/
blog + rss
chirps.egrets.ca/
SomeEgrets
@SomeEgrets
atomicthumbs
@atomicthumbs
direlog
@direlog

Public Service Announcement

Is this you?

  • "I don't need to log on every day"
  • "Scrolling through an endless list of new and exciting posts doesn't interest me"
  • "I'd rather go outside and be among nature than post online"

Then pretty soon, you can expect to see posts like these:

  • Government Alert System
    Now
    Remain Calm
    Federal philosophers have been dispatched to your location.
  • Messenger
    8m ago
    Jesus
    Who the fuck has been trespassing on my private beach?
  • Messenger
    10m ago
    Mom
    Who are you? Why are your pictures in my house?
  • Wikipedia
    20m ago
    Alert
    Category Living People has been removed from your Wikipedia page.

Every year, an unquantifiable number of people experience Sudden Ontological Failure as a direct result of Not Logging On And Viewing Posts. With 90% of reality now taking place in cyberspace, you must View Posts for at least four (4) hours a day to ensure your meat body remains stable.

Don't be a statistic: Don't Not Log On. Your life may depend on it.

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