Reviews and stuff

Sure would be cool and maybe more conducive to me posting if I could stay logged in for more than a day on this site, I don't know what was going on there. Security is cool but do I really have to dig out the login details that often?

Anyway, I was looking at some old reviews I did while I'm working on others and anticipating yet another, particularly ones from Super Bowl commercials. Commercials are incredibly weird without context, and so is what I wrote, looking back. A few choice examples follow:

• Guy screams at car being made
• No amount of farting boobs can top a British lady laying the smackdown on drunk drivers.
• Dogs must eat Doritos or they will eat a person and absorb their skin to get the Doritos.
• IT COMES OUT THE SCREEN LIKE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AND YOUR FACE EXPLODES AND STUFF.
• I was thinking it would jump off the tap and eat out the guy’s eyeballs.
• Which costs more, insurance or a big cow flesh thing?
• Xfinity: We’re totally not Comcast, guys, we won’t break your Internet
• Remove a car organ from a person and replace it with a duck
• Apparently when you eat, you're supposed to drink something, too. Wow, this'll make swallowing things much easier from now on.
• HEY ONCE YOU PLAY THIS YOU'LL BE WATCHING SO MUCH PORN THAT PEOPLE WILL FILE A MISSING PERSONS REPORT ON YOU.
• Fate of the Furious: 2 Fate 2 Furious
• Didn't this anime have like those weird spider-looking mechs with less legs and a bigger butt?
• McDonald's: Like a phone you can eat
• EGGOS MADE OF SATAN.
• SHOVE THE ENTIRE FUCKING PHONE UP MY ASS YOU FUCK AND TEXT ME PORN VIRUSES
• So a giant soap bubble explodes slowly over the planet and creates some kind of demonic fairy dimension?
• The best thing you can do during a war is to go to the convenience store.
• Anti-Communist Anti-Manifesto
• The pudding turns blue because they mix blue stuff in it. That's not as amazing as the other kind where you mix one color of powder in and it becomes this monster that grows out of the plastic tray which you have to cleave in half to eat its pudding internal organs.
• Mission Impossible 6: Fallout: New Vegas: Tactics: Brotherhood of Steel: Morrowind
• It's a MAGNUM DONG of flavor.
• 1 2 3 4 Those Goddamn Lemon Stealing Whores
• If you mix Pringles you get a flavor that's from mixed Pringles.
• This American detergent is America's number one American detergent in America.
• Jurassic World: Because people liked the first Jurassic World enough even though Jurassic Park was definitely a thing before, this one is just in Florida I guess
• Get the freshest burger possible. From the freshest cow possible. As soon as a cow is spontaneously generated from technology, eat its entire head off.
• I don't know who these people are but I guess they're from YouTube. And they don't seem to be corpse harvesters.

Yeah, it does seem a bit "lol random" when it's just lines taken at random, but commercials are just weird. Especially mobile ads that have zero standards and infringe a million IPs and involve horrible crimes casually. Also excessive fart smelling. And I usually write reviews with streams of conscience so it just turns out that way. Not sure if I'll have that same enthusiasm when it comes down to this year's year-end song list thingy where for whatever reason I tend to review all 100 songs on the Billboard year-end chart all together.