"Be honest: Is it me? Am I unlikable?"
"You're plenty likeable, bud."
"Is the dress unflattering? Because I can change it."
"Buddy, listen to me. You're great, you're a catch, and I know plenty of magical boys who would love to have you."
"... But not any magical girls?"
"It's a very gay profession, I don't know what to tell you."
"What about... What about Kitten Crusader Tuxedo, girls love him!"
"Yeah bud, gay girls. That is an entire lesbian."
"What? Shit. What about, uh..."
"Face it bud. You're the only straight magical person in the Tri-State area. Have you tried online dating?"